Happy New Year!!

We hope everyone has a safe and happy new years eve! We are gearing up to head next door to our friends house to cook our five course meal. I think we have enough food to feed 20 people so we should be able to hang in there until midnight :) We wish everyone much luck and happiness in 2007!!!

The Amazing Goofballs

The "Amazing Race" is holding an open casting call here in our hometown next week. Spurs and I are thinking of going to try out for it. Granted, Spurs and I couldn't find our way out of a paper sack but we might just be what they need as far as comic relief for the show. Spurs got lost driving through the state of Texas on our way back home and I am lucky to find the grocery store that I go to at least four times a week. We are both directionally challenged, but we sure would be a lot of fun.

The things Spurs and I could find if neccessary are:

1. A bar
2. A fast food restaurant
3. A restroom
4. A bar
5. A gas station
6. A place to shop
7. A bar

So maybe we should try-out - you never know....

Warm and Fuzzy Christmas Memories

We are back home after visiting my Sister and her family for Christmas. We had such a great time. Spurs even enjoyed himself even though he hasn't been around my family very much since we have been together due to our distance from them while moving around the U.S. since we got married.

Time was spent playing board games, eating really good food as well as eating lots and lots of cookies, candy and cake. I think I may have gained 10 pounds over three days. Christmas morning was very fun since my neice and nephew have gotten a little older and their toys have gotten more advanced. I think Spurs and I spent more time playing with their new gadgets than they did. Spurs especially liked Cube World. I may have to get him some for his desk.

It was so nice being with my family again after not seeing them for about a year and a half. My Sister even took me to Ikea and now I am totally hooked on that store. I had never been to one and only bought a few small things but I want to go back and get lots more.

Lynkin took a few days to get adjusted to the other male dogs in the house but they eventually tolerated each other. Lynkin and my Sister's dog Comet even shared the couch together.




Spurs got introduced to some European traditions. My brother-in-law is Brittish and my family is part German. Spurs had never done the Christmas Cracker routine before Christmas lunch. We all sat around and ate lunch with our paper crowns on our heads. It was quite funny. Spurs even got to try Yorkshire Pudding for the first time. Yummmmm!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year! We will blog about our New Years Eve after the fact. We are attempting a five course meal with Big Guy and Blinkie this year and hopefully we will have enough food between alcoholic beverages to make everything on our menu :)

Happy Holidays

Good wishes to you and yours...

Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ur!

Wikipedia

Man, is there anything that Wikipedia can't explain?

****Update****
I've had a couple of folks ask why in the world would I be searching Wikipedia on this subject.
I can't divulge too much information but let's just say that I'm doing some super top secret work for the goverment on improvised explosive devices...oh and I'm weird and farting is funny...

Christmas Meme

My blogmom Sissy tagged both Spurs and I with this Christmas meme and even though Spurs list was much more creative, I thought I would give it a shot.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Newspaper or Plastic Grocery Bags

2. Real tree or artificial? Spurs only allowed a $25 budget for decorations so neither.

3. When do you put up the tree? No tree = no putting up a tree

4. When do you take the tree down? Geesh, No tree = no taking down a tree

5. Do you like eggnog? Does it have beer in it?

6. Favorite gift you received as a child? Rabbit fur jacket (which resembled a calico cat….hmmm, I always wondered what happened to that cat)

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We try to keep our nativity from making a scene

8. Hardest person to buy for? Stella the cat

9. Easiest person to buy for? Lynkin the dog

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail (but remember to put stamps on them next year)

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Well now that I keep thinking about the missing cat, the rabbit fur coat that resembled the cat.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Elf

13. When do you start shopping? When do I stop shopping???

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, the last time I gave someone empty beer cans they didn’t look very excited.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sugar and Carbs

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Once again, No tree = No lights

17. Favorite Christmas song? Rudolph got run over by grandma

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Like time travel?

19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeers? Glowy, Smelly, Mangy, Itchy, Humpy, Tripod and Venison.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Usually it’s Spurs until I yell and tell him to get down.

21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Spurs and I open our presents at least two weeks before Christmas – it saves all the clean-up on the big day.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Re-runs

23. Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? Well mostly, but sometimes he ends up in my kidney.

24. What would you like for Christmas? Health and happiness for everyone!!

X-Mas Meme

My ex blogmother tagged me with this Christmas meme that's making the rounds like the freakin' Hantavirus so here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Plastic

2.Real tree or artificial? Plastic

3.When do you put up the tree? Whenever Napster says

4.When do you take the tree down? Whenever Napster says

5.Do you like eggnog? No, it gives me gas

6.Favorite gift you received as a child? I never got gifts because I was always on the “naughty” list for a string of uncorroborated incidents that I cannot go into because of the statute of limitations.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? What’s Nativity? Isn’t that a candy of some sort?

8.Hardest person to buy for? Donald Trump. He’s got everything.

9.Easiest person to buy for? The dog. She likes playing with my underwear so she’s not too particular.

10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Telekinesis

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I told you I don’t get presents, now let it go

12.Favorite Christmas movie? Cindy Lou Who does The Grinch

13.When do you start shopping? Christmas Eve around 6:30 or so. You can get a lot of deals at the 7-11 at that time.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I told you for the 3rd time I don’t get presents.

15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Bacon

16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Depends. Have I been drinking?

17.Favorite Christmas song? Carry On My Wayward Son

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. This anklet that I have to wear prevents travel..

19.Can you name all of Santa's Reindeers? Mike, Carol, Greg, Peter, Bobby, Jan, Marcia, Cindy and Alice. Jeez, everybody knows that.

20.Angel on the tree top or a star? Empty beer can

21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? What’s with all the damn present questions!! For the last time, I don’t get presents!!

22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? All of the stupid smiling and laughing. Bah!

23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? No, I keep him in a safety deposit box in the Caymans.

24.What would you like for Christmas? Peace on Earth, Good Will and bacon but not necessarily in that order

Santa Busted

Santa was not being very jovial and got his feaky ass locked up in my hometown.

You Never Know When You Are On Video

My buddy had bouncer duty at a bar here in town and ended up on My Space.... Here is the video of my buddy listening to a fine young lad who's extolling the virtues of alcohol consumption.

Person of the Year

Since I'm Time Magazine's Person of the Year.
I was wondering if it would appear egocentric to include this on my resume?

Ahhh, New Technology

My most wonderful loving husband got me the best gift for Christmas ever! A new cell phone! My cell phone bit the dust a few months ago due to a tragic cat versus dog incident. They were chasing each other around the living room and my phone was plugged into the charger and resting on the mantel - needless to say some sort of animal leg got tangled in the cord and it came a tumbling down onto the tile and the screen was toast. I went back to my old, old, old phone since we weren't in a position to buy a new one and I hated it. I am a gadget techno freak and it was so hard having old technology in my hand. Spurs still works for a cell phone company and I used to so we were always used to having the latest and greatest so it's hard to go backwards.

I think the hardest part about getting new technology as in a new cell phone is deciding what type of ringer to pick for my favorite people. Spurs was an easy choice, usually I pick the Carolina fight song but this time I wanted something different for him. I picked "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake. The reason I picked this song for my beloved is because of his "Sexy" look day-to-day. Spurs works from home and I am unemployed so we are together all the time. Since Spurs works from home he wakes up, checks his email, listens in on some conference calls, etc. all while in his t-shirt, sweat-pants, bed-head mohawk, and scruffy facial hair growth. He is drop-dead sexy I must say, therefore the song for his ringer fits :)

***UPDATE***
Spurs requested a different ringer - TNT by AC/DC. He wasn't ready to bring "Sexy Back".

For my best-friend Morrigan the choice is quite easier. It's always the FSU fight song of some sort. Now, thankfully the cellular provider I have has more options for the FSU fight song. I wanted to download the chant "F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E" ect. (you either know it or you don't). Spurs wouldn't allow that ringer - his quote was "If you use that as Morrigan's ringer I will throw the phone out the window when she calls". So, I opted for the other chant - hard to put into text but it's a lot like the Atlanta Braves Indian chant. So again, that one was an easy one. Plus it reminds me of our trips to Talla and watching the stretchy boys before the game...ahhhh...

For our dear friends "Big-Guy and Blinkie" the choice was easy too, "Bar-Light" by Charlie Robinson - it's our boat song and pretty much our anthem :)

My standard ringer was easy, it's always U2 and this time it's a different version of Vertigo. I'm a U2 freak if you didn't already know. My voicemail ringer, well I chose a different one than usual, it used to be Holla Back from Gwen Stefani but this time I chose a new song by her.

The hardest ringer I had to choose (and I haven't chosen one yet) is for Sissy. She is such a music connoisseur that it's hard to pick the right song for her. I texted her and asked what I should choose and her response was "Whatever reminds you of me". Well that narrows it down, thanks Sissy. I'll come up with one, it will just take more time. Sissy is a lot like me, whenever she gets anything new electronic wise it has to be set up right away and customized as we want it :)

***UPDATE***
Sissy sent me a perfect ringer for her :)

Anyway, as I ramble on and on and on, I just have to say, it's sooo nice to have a new electronic gadget. Yes, I am a total geek!

Procrastination Pays Off

Spurs and I are going to spend Christmas at my Sister's house this year. My Dad lives with my Sister and her family so it will be nice to see them all and to stay in their house. My Mom always made Christmas so special and it's my favorite time of year for that reason. I called my Sister last night and she said that they decorated the inside and outside of the house over the weekend and I can't wait to see it. She let each of the kids decorate their room however they wanted to and she said my nephew's room resembles Vegas with all the flashing lights he strung throughout his entire room. I said that Spurs would feel right at home in his room :)

Thankfully I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet because (A) I am a huge procrastinator all of a sudden and (B) I just didn't want to deal with it. So luckily all I have to get this year are gift cards. I'm glad my niece and nephews are into getting either cash or gift cards now so they can buy what they want, it makes it so much easier and less stressful. I was worried though that it wasn't very personal and since I wasn't mailing it this year and would be in person I asked if I should get any little gifts for them to open besides their gift cards and my sister promptly replied "NO" they are getting enough, just get the cards. Wahoo! Works for me!! So it's off to Publix tomorrow to do my gift card shopping :)

She's Licking It

Well so much for "Don't Lick the Hoo-Hoo Lynkin". I picked her up today to check on her sutures and sure enough one was opening up. It was 11:30 am and I called the Vet to see if I could bring her in. They closed at 12:00 but said to bring her on in as fast as I could. We get up there with 10 minutes to spare and they checked her out. Sure enough the Vet says that she has been licking too much and opened it up a bit. I had two options - the "sock" as they put it or the cone of silence. Well I opted for both just in case. They fit her with the "sock" which is a lovely red fishnet looking piece that fits like a tube and they cut holes for her front and back legs as well as her rear. I have never laughed so hard in my life. She looks like a sausage you buy at the store with the netting around it :) I couldn't resist!



She is sooo embarassed, she wouldn't even look at the camera. She has spent most of the day in her crate and the only way I could even take the picture was to lure her out and then shut the crate door. Spurs said I was an evil mama :) Oh, and even better - I have to clean the open suture area everyday and put neosporin on it and keep a piece of gauze over it - that has been a fun challenge today. Every time she walks or moves the gauze slides all around in the netting. Spurs is dying to put the cone around her head just for laughs but I will only use that as a last resort - they didn't have an extra small so they gave me a small and showed me how to put it on her but I don't think she will be able to eat her food or drink water with that lampshade on.

I can't wait for these next 10 days to be over and for her to be fully healed.

No Licking Of The Hoo-Hoo

That is the quote of the past two days from the house of Spurs & Napster. Little Lynkin is doing good. BUT, she cannot lick the Hoo-Hoo. So every five minutes, it's "Don't Lick The Hoo-Hoo". The Vet told me that if she starts licking that either she needs the cone of silence or I should go get her a newborn onesie from Wal-Mart so she can't get to it. She had nothin to do with the wonsies I bought so - it's "Don't Lick The Hoo-Hoo Lynkin".

So it's conflicting info when it comes to little Lynkin sleeping in our bed last night, "Mama says - LICK THE HOO-HOO" then when Lynkin tries it it's "Don't lick the Hoo-Hoo Lynkin"! Hahahaha! Just Kidding :) (Not Really).

Our little girl is doing good since her "FIX" yesterday but it's tough to keep her from jumping up and down off of the couch and to stop licking her special place :)

We shall keep you updated - the Vet says we should keep her from "Jumping" "Licking" and "Rough Housing" for 10 days. YIKES! The next 10 days should be challenging.

After having her in the bed last night all Spurs heard was "Don't Roll Over On The Baby" :)

How could I not??

Courtesy of Contagion

Your Penis Name Is...

Elvis

Penis Name Generator

I thought so....gives new meaning to Hunka' Hunka' Burning Love

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost".

Lynkin under the Knife...or Laser

Tomorrow is the big "fix" day for Lynkin. Spurs and I went back and forth about getting her fixed but in the end I assured him he does not want to go through the "heat" thing. It's bad enough he is in a house with three females even though Stella is fixed but imagine PMS and in addition, a dog in heat. Not a good combo. We are going to ATL for X-Mas this year and Lynkin is coming along since I can't bare to put her in a kennel for that long and in my family's house there are two male dogs that are fixed but I thought it would be best not to tempt them with a fertile female....the whole, it's been snipped but you can't change the male brain and all that.

So I asked around and found a vet and went and visited the facility the other day to make sure it didn't look creepy and run down - it's brand new and it's a beautiful facility. I called and made the appointment and the girl at the vet said they now do it with a laser. She said they are one of the few vet offices in the city that use this procedure but she assured me it's a lot safer and more comfortable for the animal. The best part is that I get to pick her up the same day!!

So everyone say a little doggie prayer for my girl tomorrow, it's her first big surgery and hopefully her last!

Always Go With Your Gut

Today I had a choice between picking a few things up either at Publix or Super Wal-Mart. W-M seemed the logical choice since it wasn't groceries I needed but more like canned and bottled drinks, pain releivers and a kitchen gadget. I'm trying to not shop at Publix too often because they are quite expensive where we live. So I pop into W-M around 3:00 pm and think it should be a snap, right? WRONG! Don't go near W-M during the month of December no matter what time of day it is. I also think it's worse at this one since they do sell groceries. I was in that place fighting through the isles with my cart for over 30 minutes just to buy four items! It's not like the people shopping there were in the nicest of moods either. What happened to Holiday Spirit? So needless to say - no more W-M shopping for me this month, unless I am heavily sedated before entering.

Brain goes Pop

I am currently on a conference call.
They started early this morning and have not stopped.
If I hear the following terms again in the next month or so I might very well lose it.
blah blah blah Net Net blah blah blah At the end of the day blah blah blah Status Report blah blah Work Plan blah Non Funded Position blah blah blah blah Hiring Freeze
blah blah Market Ready blah blah Comp Plan blah High Level Overview blah blah blah Macro View blah Micro View blah blah Headcount blah blah Across the Board blah Jump on Board blah blah blah Sign Off blah blah Actuals and blah blah blah No Brainer.
And my personal favorite….That’s open to interpretation. Yeah right so's EBITDA.

Excuse me now, I have another mother lovin’ call to jump on