Friday, September 30, 2005

It's Pronounced "Oconomowoc", Don'tcha Know?

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they approached Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

"As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, 'Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?'

"The blond leaned over the counter and slowly said, 'Burrrr gerrrr Kiiiing.' "

Random toughts

I love this time of year.
It’s starting to cool down a bit.
Baseball is getting ready to start the playoffs.
College football is in full swing.
Professional football is rocking and everyone still technically has a chance at the Super Bowl.
Hockey is getting ready to start.
Kicking tail in most of my Fantasy Football Leagues

I can hear Napster groan…..

But she doesn’t complain when I make chili or brats to accompany these events…

I do hate that we’re missing our annual pilgrimage to Helen for October Fest. It’s always fun to see who Mo will bring next…

Fairs, pumpkins, Halloween, crisp nights, the crackle of a fire, s’mores…I really do like this time of year…

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Like Napster didn't know this one

I saw this over on Bou's site and decided to confirm what I already knew....

You are CALVIN! You little mischief maker, lol.
But, without people like you, the world would
be so boring.

Which CALVIN & HOBBES character YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

And Napster wants to have kids...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Me vs. The Man

Contrary to my Y chromosome, I am not a gadget freak. I never have been and doubt that I ever will be. Hell, if something (meaning me) screws with the settings on the 3 remotes we have in the living room, Napster must come to my aid.

This is not to say that I’m a technophobe or blithering idiot, I just don’t have time for that sort of stuff. If I can grasp how to use something in 30 seconds without the directions, I’ll keep it. Otherwise it’s out the door.

Well imagine my surprise when the “powers that be” decided that I needed a “Smart-Phone”.
What’s a Smart-Phone you ask??? It’s a cell phone that runs on a Microsoft platform enabling me to access Outlook and a million other things that I will never figure out.

This is supposed to help my productivity. WTF!??

Is my productivity level low??

I come in around 10 or so every day don’t I??
My lunches rarely exceed 2 hours in length.
Wasn’t I the first guy to wear flip flops on casual Friday?
C'mon guys, I swear we didn't hit any strip clubs or casino's when you made me work out of town, 3 weekends in a row.
How was I supposed to know that buying the bar a round wasn't a "reimbursable expense"?

I really don’t want to become one of those people that is connected to work all day, every day. I see them at work and on the road and all I can think is, “What a fucking dip-stick”.
Seriously, I work hard and am proud of what I do, but work does not define me in any way, shape or form.

The flip side of this coin is that in some ways, I have an addictive personality. This could lead to me actually figuring out the product and falling victim to a corporate conspiracy that facilitates our dependence on these gadgets. Fuck!!

I think I’m going down to A/P and move around some invoices. It always makes me giggle when they can't find the blah-blah-blah file.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Went to the Fair....

Today was Fair day in TLTTF. I was hoping to come back with Chick Mullett pictures and tales of general mischief. But alas, this Fair was so lame that no big fun was to be had....
We did have however, one of the best corn-dogs ever. So that's a plus....
And for ten bucks Napster won this...

How's that for money well spent?
We may put it on ebay because Marlin has never looked so good...or so creeeeepy.
Maybe we should mount him to the wall or something.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Mr. Balls Is Back

Mr. Balls came back today and showed me his man bits. Stella was not impressed. See if you can pick out which cat is happy and which cat is not...

Napster: Eww, looks like he has a tick above his balls, see that little red dot..
Spurs: Um, that's his weiner...
Napster: No way, that's not his weiner...
(Weiner starts to protrude a bit..)
Napster: OMG Yuck! Kitty weiner...
Spurs: Yup, that's his kitty weiner..
Napster: Yuck, that's disgusting, it's quite small
Spurs: Well you only got to see the top of it, he didn't bring it out all the way
Napster: OMG, that is not right!!!
Eww, I got to see top of kitty weiner, not what I wanted to see.... YUCK!!!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Been There, Done That, Bought the T-shirt

Napster is back in town! Back from the Windy City! Man, I am beat. The whole hurricane fiasco was in full play yesterday at O'Hare and DFW and both were pains in my ass. I was able to fly stand-by from O'Hare to DFW but not so much on my way home to TLTTF TX. I ended up on the late flight home but glad to be here. Spurs had my back and convinced me to buy a one way to Dallas for Thursday night instead of my return flight back today to Houston. Boy am I glad I have such a travel smart hunny! I was concerned about the cost of the one way ticket but if I hadn't done that I would have spent the weekend in Chicago. Houston airport shut down at 12:00 today and I would have been SOL.

I gotta say, downtown Chicago is one beautiful city. I didn't get to see as much as I wanted to but from my hotel window I had the Chicago Theater on my right and nice view of the water to my left. I didn't get to go out much at night because of the very long work days but the first night we had dinner at the hotel which was actually really good. The next night we walked over to Nick and Tony's and man was it good. The atmosphere was great and the food even better. I did not get to shop because I had to get out of there so fast to get home but man did I want to. The only downside was the five block walk to the office every morning and evening. Sissy warned me about wearing comfortable shoes but did I listen, NOPE! I really want to go back when I'm not working and spend some free time. There was so much to do and see!

So I am really thankful to be home. Being out of town during a hurricane situation is not very much fun. I hope all the folks in Texas will come out alright, last look it seemed it had calmed down from the Cat 5 that it was so let's hope it's not as bad as Katrina.

I'm really thankful that I get to be home with my hunny, it's tough being away from home. October is going to be a busy time for me. Looks like about 15 days of travel for the month. I get to go to exciting Ohio. Wahoo! But the bright point is we get to go to San Antonio for a mini vacation to see our dear friends from home that we haven't seen in a while. Then I'm off to California. I am looking forward to that since I haven't been there but it will be a brutal trip. Three days one week and five days the next week. What was I thinking when I took this job??

Some kinda Pirate thingey.....

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I just wanted to see me Pirate name....Arrrr!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Ummm Yeth Calla'

Da Napsta'is in Chi-Town this week getting her work on.
Baby girl comes back on Friday via Houston....
Methinks she should re-route. What sayeth you?

Doesn't prove a thing

How evil are you?

I don't belive this for one minute....well maybe a little..

Monday, September 19, 2005

Shoe's on the other foot....

This week, Napster is the one on the road, not me.
Feels weird coming home and not having her around to keep me in check. The cat is freakin' out.

I don't know about other guys, but most of the time before I do something, I catch myself looking around for official approval from the boss. With her not could be anarchy....heh.

I finally have a few weeks back at home and boy does it feel good. Even though we're here in TLTTF.

I discovered that Missouri is the home of the femullet.
Go to Classifications/Section I/Number 9

I spent the past weekend in a football induced coma. And with the exception of Carolina losing, enjoyed every second.

Fantasy Football is in full bloom. Watch out Contagion, the Ass Kickin' Chickens play to win.

My office will finally be built next week. Excellent.

*Emmy's* Was it just me, or did the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond really seem to hate one another? Never did like that show...

I hope Farve and the Packers come around. I don't want him to go out poorly.

*Katrina* Seems to me that there's plenty of blame to go around. Shut up and help those people. On a side note, when they say evacuate, evacuate. The local government knew that they had plenty of people who couldn't move for what ever reason. Move them.

I'm in charge of the thermostat for 4 1/2 days. I bet it never gets above 58 degrees.

*Irony* Meeting with someone to discuss their drinking habits while you have a blistering hangover. (You know who you are)

The Napster and I are in intense negotiations. Possible procreation on the horizon...a genetic roll of the dice that the cosmos may or may not be prepared for...Whether it's a girl or a boy, I'd like to name him Peanut Butter. Sounds like a ball player...

If you requested an SUV with the rental car company...and when you arrived...all that was left was an Escalade...would you take it and explain the charges too.

It's funny watching the folks in TLTTF try to eat sushi. Don't know why, it just is...

The Fair will be here next week. Pics and notes to follow. Smells like a train wreck.

If I have an important meeting, I will cut myself shaving. And it will bleed like I only have 2 plateletes...

No candy in the house sucks on a monumental scale.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Just flew in from Vegas and boy are my arms tired...

Oh man, have I had my ass in the wind the last month or so…It’s going to calm down a little bit in September and October but November will be full speed ahead.

Tips, thoughts and what not from the road-

You cannot survive solely on the free peanuts and pretzels handed out on planes. Stop and eat or you will fall down.

Speeding is strictly enforced in work zones. Trust me.

I’m sure that not all Highway Patrol Officers are jack-holes….I just haven’t met one that isn’t.

Highway Patrol Officers do not like my quick witted sense of humor.

When the bartender asks you if you want a “double” for only $2 more remember, that this is not necessarily a good idea.

Never fall asleep while eating a cheeseburger. It’s very difficult to explain to the maid.

Just because your suitcase rolls does not mean it should be a carry-on. Just check it. I’m speaking to the nit-wits who try to cram a suitcase built for two into the overhead which oddly enough, always happens to be over me.

If the road sign says “Dip”, be prepared for a sudden drop in the road. This is not a good time to be drinking a beverage of any sort.

Once the temperature reaches 122, it does not matter if it’s a dry or humid heat. Go inside.

“World Famous” beside a menu item does not mean that it will be any good or prevent explosive diarrhea.

Airports suck.

People in airports seem to be very into themselves.

I hate cell-phones.

When you see a pack of police cars chasing a single car, just walk away.

Always let Sissy drive.

Everybody knows what you were really watching as an in room movie. Big freak.

Some people are nice and some people are not nice. Identify the latter first and really screw with them. It’s fun.

Tell your loved ones you miss them or someone else will…

Beef Jerky from a truck stop in the middle of nowhere Missouri is a realllllllly bad idea.

Sometimes people are laughing at you and not with you. Fuck em’

My interest in what people think is inversely proportionate to the number of drinks I have consumed.

A smile goes a long way. Threats however, get things done way faster.

If the sign says “Prepare to Stop”, you really should. This is also not a good time to be fumbling about with a road map.

Too many Red Bulls will make you have weird dreams.

Poor water pressure in hotel rooms really does suck. Having a clogged toilet sucks worse.

Always check the expiration date. This is really important.

Carry a roll of toilet paper in your rental. Again, this is really important.

Local police don’t give a crap if you’re from out of town. Actually, I think they prey on this.

No matter where I go, I can always find a Carolina fan.

No matter where I go, I can always find someone who wants to fight me for being a Carolina fan.

Football is not a religion in some states. This worries me a great deal.

I have more but that’s all for now. Regular posting will begin after I return from my trip back south this week.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

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Friday, September 09, 2005

Long Time Gone

Hello, sorry about the absence of me and Spurs, we have been workin hard and travelin hard.

As you know, I had to visit the outskirts of Chicago with a bunch of folks that I didn't really have much in common with. That would be no smokin, no drinkin. Oh well, I managed.

Spurs is on the road again and we will get to see each other maybe two days in the next two weeks before I have to travel to the downtown city of Chicago. I'm lookin forward to that. Shopping, walking distance to bars, etc. We shall see how it goes. Same group of folks but at least I'll be able to walk to where I need to go. Thank goodness for Spurs, Sissy and Morrigan to keep me sane.

Spurs isn't goin anywhere exciting in the next few weeks but he makes due :)

There's been a lot goin on since we blogged last. Katrina, Bou's B-Day, etc. Much to talk about but a little overwhelming. The big news here in our sad little city in Texas was the multiple planes bringing in the refugees from Louisiana and Mississippi. I feel bad for those folks but thank god they got out of the Super Dome and Convention Center, that looked too scary. Hopefully where they are at now in TX is much safer and better. I just don't think they much liked getting off of the plane and saw only flat, dry, hot and dusty land.

Much to blog about but very depressed. We are both traveling a lot and not too happy about where we are living. We don't want to bring anyone else down so hopefully we will have happier stuff to blog about in the next few days. Hopefully Carolina will win over Georgia tomorrow (which has me torn) and thankfully Florida State won over the Hurricanes and Carolina had a very good first game actually passing and catching and no Quarterback Draw every play :)

Thank goodness for College Football and the NFL to keep us on track!

Hang in there with us folks, we are trying our best!