Just flew in from Vegas and boy are my arms tired...

Oh man, have I had my ass in the wind the last month or so…It’s going to calm down a little bit in September and October but November will be full speed ahead.

Tips, thoughts and what not from the road-

You cannot survive solely on the free peanuts and pretzels handed out on planes. Stop and eat or you will fall down.

Speeding is strictly enforced in work zones. Trust me.

I’m sure that not all Highway Patrol Officers are jack-holes….I just haven’t met one that isn’t.

Highway Patrol Officers do not like my quick witted sense of humor.

When the bartender asks you if you want a “double” for only $2 more remember, that this is not necessarily a good idea.

Never fall asleep while eating a cheeseburger. It’s very difficult to explain to the maid.

Just because your suitcase rolls does not mean it should be a carry-on. Just check it. I’m speaking to the nit-wits who try to cram a suitcase built for two into the overhead which oddly enough, always happens to be over me.

If the road sign says “Dip”, be prepared for a sudden drop in the road. This is not a good time to be drinking a beverage of any sort.

Once the temperature reaches 122, it does not matter if it’s a dry or humid heat. Go inside.

“World Famous” beside a menu item does not mean that it will be any good or prevent explosive diarrhea.

Airports suck.

People in airports seem to be very into themselves.

I hate cell-phones.

When you see a pack of police cars chasing a single car, just walk away.

Always let Sissy drive.

Everybody knows what you were really watching as an in room movie. Big freak.

Some people are nice and some people are not nice. Identify the latter first and really screw with them. It’s fun.

Tell your loved ones you miss them or someone else will…

Beef Jerky from a truck stop in the middle of nowhere Missouri is a realllllllly bad idea.

Sometimes people are laughing at you and not with you. Fuck em’

My interest in what people think is inversely proportionate to the number of drinks I have consumed.

A smile goes a long way. Threats however, get things done way faster.

If the sign says “Prepare to Stop”, you really should. This is also not a good time to be fumbling about with a road map.

Too many Red Bulls will make you have weird dreams.

Poor water pressure in hotel rooms really does suck. Having a clogged toilet sucks worse.

Always check the expiration date. This is really important.

Carry a roll of toilet paper in your rental. Again, this is really important.

Local police don’t give a crap if you’re from out of town. Actually, I think they prey on this.

No matter where I go, I can always find a Carolina fan.

No matter where I go, I can always find someone who wants to fight me for being a Carolina fan.

Football is not a religion in some states. This worries me a great deal.


I have more but that’s all for now. Regular posting will begin after I return from my trip back south this week.