Me vs. The Man

Contrary to my Y chromosome, I am not a gadget freak. I never have been and doubt that I ever will be. Hell, if something (meaning me) screws with the settings on the 3 remotes we have in the living room, Napster must come to my aid.

This is not to say that I’m a technophobe or blithering idiot, I just don’t have time for that sort of stuff. If I can grasp how to use something in 30 seconds without the directions, I’ll keep it. Otherwise it’s out the door.

Well imagine my surprise when the “powers that be” decided that I needed a “Smart-Phone”.
What’s a Smart-Phone you ask??? It’s a cell phone that runs on a Microsoft platform enabling me to access Outlook and a million other things that I will never figure out.

This is supposed to help my productivity. WTF!??

Is my productivity level low??

I come in around 10 or so every day don’t I??
My lunches rarely exceed 2 hours in length.
Wasn’t I the first guy to wear flip flops on casual Friday?
C'mon guys, I swear we didn't hit any strip clubs or casino's when you made me work out of town, 3 weekends in a row.
How was I supposed to know that buying the bar a round wasn't a "reimbursable expense"?

I really don’t want to become one of those people that is connected to work all day, every day. I see them at work and on the road and all I can think is, “What a fucking dip-stick”.
Seriously, I work hard and am proud of what I do, but work does not define me in any way, shape or form.

The flip side of this coin is that in some ways, I have an addictive personality. This could lead to me actually figuring out the product and falling victim to a corporate conspiracy that facilitates our dependence on these gadgets. Fuck!!

I think I’m going down to A/P and move around some invoices. It always makes me giggle when they can't find the blah-blah-blah file.