X-Mas Meme

My ex blogmother tagged me with this Christmas meme that's making the rounds like the freakin' Hantavirus so here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Plastic

2.Real tree or artificial? Plastic

3.When do you put up the tree? Whenever Napster says

4.When do you take the tree down? Whenever Napster says

5.Do you like eggnog? No, it gives me gas

6.Favorite gift you received as a child? I never got gifts because I was always on the “naughty” list for a string of uncorroborated incidents that I cannot go into because of the statute of limitations.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? What’s Nativity? Isn’t that a candy of some sort?

8.Hardest person to buy for? Donald Trump. He’s got everything.

9.Easiest person to buy for? The dog. She likes playing with my underwear so she’s not too particular.

10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Telekinesis

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I told you I don’t get presents, now let it go

12.Favorite Christmas movie? Cindy Lou Who does The Grinch

13.When do you start shopping? Christmas Eve around 6:30 or so. You can get a lot of deals at the 7-11 at that time.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I told you for the 3rd time I don’t get presents.

15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Bacon

16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Depends. Have I been drinking?

17.Favorite Christmas song? Carry On My Wayward Son

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. This anklet that I have to wear prevents travel..

19.Can you name all of Santa's Reindeers? Mike, Carol, Greg, Peter, Bobby, Jan, Marcia, Cindy and Alice. Jeez, everybody knows that.

20.Angel on the tree top or a star? Empty beer can

21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? What’s with all the damn present questions!! For the last time, I don’t get presents!!

22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? All of the stupid smiling and laughing. Bah!

23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? No, I keep him in a safety deposit box in the Caymans.

24.What would you like for Christmas? Peace on Earth, Good Will and bacon but not necessarily in that order