Friday, December 16, 2005

A little life lesson...

It’s going to take a while to get there but just hear me out…

I grew up in the South and never really had to deal with tough winter weather. One lesson that I did learn however was that once the warning for inclement weather was issued everybody had to dash off to the local grocery store for milk, bread and eggs. I can’t say that I ever understood this but I guess somebody must think that milk, toast and scrambled eggs were just the thing to have if you’re snow bound. Seriously.

Fast forward to my move to Grand Rapids Michigan.
I think it started snowing somewhere around Cincinnati and my buddy who was riding shotgun looks over and says “Where do you think we can get some milk, bread and eggs?” No shit. I think this is genetically ingrained or something…
I was being cool but really in the back of my head I was wondering the same thing.

So anyway, we hit the GR and there must have been 3 feet of snow on the ground and it’s dumping like you wouldn’t believe. We unhitch the U-Haul and head off to the store in search of milk, bread and eggs. I could play it off and say we were going to get supplies since I just moved but we were really freaked and I would just be lying.

At the store, I noticed that no one had that wild-eyed, Thanksgiving, Wal-Mart shopper look in their eyes. Hmmmm….maybe this won’t be such a big deal after all.

Fast forward three winters.
During which time I spent significant time in the Upper Peninsula, Detroit, Chicago, Des Moines, Moline and the Quad Cities. Not to mention all the times we would hop over to Canada and wreak havoc. Snow didn’t mean shit. The best lesson I learned was how to do the ice shuffle walk. This is an interesting little phenomenon found in those areas that experience winters icy grip. Looks kind of like a penguin walk but believe me when I say you cannot take full strides in icy conditions. You will go ass over tea-kettle. Trust me. I’ve got the scars to prove it.

Fast forward to today.
A little light dusting of snow hits TLTTF. No big deal.
I head out for lunch and forgot about the one really good lesson I learned up north. The fall was cartoonish in that both feet flew out from underneath me and I traveled a good 5 yards before impact. But you know what’s funnier than that?? On the way down all I could think about was having to go the store for milk, bread and eggs.

I’m going home. My back hurts.