I now put the Co in codependent....When did this happen??

I’m not sure when it happened or how it happened but I have discovered that I am no longer capable of taking care of myself.

How does this happen to a grown man?? I left home when I was 17 and never looked back….I just don’t get it…

I woke up Sunday morning around 10 or so after getting up with Napster (3 freakin’ am) to make sure she made her flight. I was a little tired and very hungry.
At this point, Napster usually jumps in and provides direction about what will and will not be had for breakfast. I cook mind you; it’s just that she calls the menu so to speak.
Without Napster, I was lost and decided on lasagna. She has warned me more than once about my unconventional breakfast choices but without her firm guidance I couldn’t think clearly.

After “breakfast” I wandered around the apartment not knowing what to do. There were no lists of things to do. No errands that I had to run. No nothing.

*Me thinking to myself*
Hmmmmm…..I thought, maybe I should just watch football.
Should I shower?? Dunno, no one is here saying otherwise.
You’re still in your funky sweats from yesterday. So?
Cool…football it is…sweet
Where’s the damn remote!!!

I couldn’t find the remote. When Napster is home she waves some sort of magic wand and it just appears. No Napster meant no remote. Damn!! I still haven’t found that freakin’ thing.

Before flopping onto the couch I realize that I still needed to update my Fantasy Football roster. No big deal right? Wrong.
Something screwy was going on and I couldn’t access the site. Shit!!!!!
This is normally when I call for Napster. She comes in and sprinkles some magic IT pixie dust on the computer and “voila” the little bastard starts working. Not going to happen this time I thought. I hope my roster is set.

Getting up and down changing the channel made me hungry so I decided to go to the store. Something that I used to be quite good at but now, not so much…
Walking in the store, I immediately went to the fresh fruits and vegetables as I’ve been trained.

*Me thinking again*
Dude, I want pizza rolls not papaya. Ditch this aisle…
We need fruit.
True but Napster won’t be home until the end of the week. Get some on Friday.
Cool…where are the pizza rolls??

And like that, I was off, cutting a junk food swath through the grocery store. Grand total $153.87.
Good Carbs – 0
And I still had time to make the afternoon games…Wooo-Hooo.
Although it still felt like I had something to do or somewhere to be…

The buffet was laid out all across the coffee table.
The Steelers – Packers game was getting ready to start. Damn, I wish I could find that remote….
Where’s my lucky Steelers shirt? Where’s my terrible towel?? Where’s my lucky hat???
All of which are questions normally fielded by my beloved and answered within seconds. Sunday however, it took me a good 20 minutes to find everything.

The game was great.
The cat and I shared a wonderful bounty while watching the Steelers put another W in the win column.

*Here I go thinking again*
What to do now??
Clean up? Nah, it can wait….
Shower? Nah, it’s already 6 PM or so…
Take out the trash? Maybe later…
I know, get ready for the late game on ESPN… That’s more like it.
What should I do for dinner?? Beats me…
I ate so much this afternoon, I decided on something light. Apple Jacks.
The cat looked at me like I was an idiot. Although she didn’t seem to mind when I gave her the Apple Jacks milk…

Can’t find the remote
Eating like crap
Computer’s acting up
Missing clothes
The cat is jacked up on sugar
Please hurry home Napster. I’ve become a complete doofus.


PS – Don’t forget the taffy. Mom’s called about 2 bazillion times