Monday, September 04, 2006

Moving, Day 2, 1700 Hours

Never made it to the casinos in Shreveport...oh well...I don't like them anyways...

We made really good time and are safely in Birmingham.

I've got quite a few observations from day 2.

-People are stupid and can't drive.
-People are stupid and have no fucking clue how to use "cruise control".
-People are stupid and refuse to move out of the passing lane.
-People are stupid and drive way too fast on a holiday weekend.
-People are stupid and give me a warm fuzzy feeling when they're pulled over by the man. Twnety - two by my count.
-There's a town in Mississippi called Chunky. It should be next to Lubbock.
-All rest area bathrooms smell like ass and feet.
-The cat doesn't like my singing voice.
-There's really no way to eat healthy when traveling like this. We gave up today and had a Happy Meal a piece. You get weird looks in Meridian when ordering Happy Meals for adults. Screw them.
-Happy Meals give me gas.
-Stella doesn't like it when I have gas and it makes me laugh.
-Stells yells at me when I have gas. I don't like that.
-Stella has lost her collar. All signs point to Lynkin but she refuses to talk.
-And on a personal aside, when did you have to be Robert Langdon or Lara Croft to figure out how to turn on the hot water? One move to the left, enter a secret code and answer the "Riddle of the Minotaur". WTF!?!?! I need two knobs, one for hot and one for cold thank you very much.

Hopefully tomorrow, barring any unseemly Atlanta traffic mayhem, we'll be hanging out on the lake in Columbia.

Now I'll turn the mic over to Naps...

Naps here...and here are my observations from the road:

Do not let Spurs "Wing It" through the state of Texas.
Do not think that Lynkin can just sit in the car and not be in her crate - she likes to climb all of the multiple objects piled up in the back seat.
Lynkin has heard the Mama sing for the first time in the car and cocks her head to the right every time I do it.
After you leave Texas and Louisiana everyone drives like crazy people.
It's hard to be in Spurs back draft the whole drive....I think I can take him...
I'm good for maybe two hours and then I must get out of the car.
Once you enter Alabama every redneck thinks it's sexy to wiggle their tongue at you while passing you.
Stella the cat is trying to find every way possible to get out of each Residence Inn we stay at.

More to follow.....