I should not be left unattended

I’ve just gotten back from another trip to Oz. They are trying to assimilate me but I’m just too damn hard headed. I should know more about my situation in the coming months. Truth be told, I don’t really care one way or the other…as long as Napster and I can get the hell out of TLTTF.

Speaking of Napster, we’re going to take an official 7-10 day vacation this year. In the past, due to circumstances beyond our control we would take multiple long weekend trips. Not this year buddy boy…
Here’s my suggestion…

Napster isn’t sold on it, go figure….
Do any of you have any vacation suggestions???

Who decided that these sunglasses were back in style??
I hated them back when my mom wore them and I hate them now…
Who’s in charge of this shit!?!?!

I’ve developed a new strategy for picking out a seat on “You are now Free to Move about the Country” Airlines.

-Right before entering the plane, discreetly wet face with water
-Pick a middle seat.(Wet face again if possible)
-Fart (multiple times if possible)
-Wait for someone to try and sit next to you, look up with a sweat glistened face and say, “I hope I don’t shit my pants before we get to (insert town)”.
-They’ll move on, trust me….