Women's English

Married life is teaching me quite a few things. I think I've decoded what my wife means when she says things.

For example:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I'm in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = I'd better not.
8. Do what you want = I will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Now if I can just remember to put the seat down...