Woman are tough

This will take a little explaining...
I typically have to get a haircut about every 2 1/2 weeks or so because 1.)I like my hair pretty short and 2.) it grows really fast.

In Charleston I had a lady that really took care of me. For $20 she would wash, cut and dry my hair as well as, trim eyebrows and neck etc...keeping me for the most part looking respectable.

Here however, I do not have someone like that to go to so I do what every guy does and go to Supercuts. Not bad for $11 but they don't do the little things like eyebrows....which brings me to the story...

Napster and I were sitting on the patio last night enjoying the sun and a few adult beverages when she looks over and says, "Your eyebrows need to be trimmed".
I said, "I'll get them done before we head to Vegas" and she says,"Let me pluck them".
Guys, if you ever here those words, RUN LIKE HELL!!!

I'd had a couple of drinks at this point and figured what's the big deal?? How bad could it hurt??
I said, "Sure baby, whatever you want to do".
She goes inside and comes back out grinning, upon further reflection, maniacally.
I'm a big fella so she staddles me and says, "Are you ready"? "Sure thing kid, knock yourself out", I said.
Now understand, that I've experienced lots of pain. I've had my nose broken 3 "official" times. I've got screws in my toes from a crazy bout of baby sitting. I have a 72 staple scar across my stomach from a spleenectomy gone awry. I've had cortisone shots in my rotator cuff that hurt like a bee-yotch!!!! So, I'm versed in pain.

The next moment I experienced a pain unlike anything I've experienced before. It felt like bees were stinging my eyes and had she not been straddling me I would've headed for the door poste haste. She's plucking and I'm screeching, tears running down my face when she says, "Done". "Damn right you're done now get off me", I say. She then informs me that she's only finished with one freakin' eyebrow and has to do the other. "Damn that noise", I say. I'll just be crooked.
She's not taking no for an answer and pounces on me again with the "tweezers of death".

When it was done, I was a beaten man but swore that if any of my hair can't be cut, shaved or trimmed with clippers it would just have to stay.
I can't imagine a bikini wax. Woman are tough...