Pull My Finger

Duct Tape Bandit

2007-08-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

Ha!! Freakin classic!!
Time to thin out the herd....

2007-08-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

Shaun will soon be gone

2007-08-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

New Rule : Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the basketball team is doing these days--mowing my lawn.

New Rule : Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain?? Trout?

New Rule : Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule : If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule : Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule : There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule : Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule : The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half- soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule : I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule : Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule : Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting??? Oh wait!? They're already doing that--It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule : I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

I'm out

F**king Freedom

2007-06-26T14:08:00.001-07:00

Have you ever just taken a day. A day where you would normally do your weekday routine, whether it be go to work, clean your house, go run errands, etc. etc. and just decided to say f**k it all and do absolutely nothing. Well that was me today. I was so tired, not sleeping well, stressed out, etc. and decided to say f**k it and do absolutely nothing today. Lynkin and I layed on the couch and watched about five movies today. In between I went and got take out lunch that I normally wouldn't eat during the week because it's not good for me. F**k that! It was my day - I can do whatever I want. Spurs told me last night I needed this day and he was right. I'm glad I listened to him. I had a great day of doing absolutely f**king nothing. I highly recommend it.

Cue Evil Sounding Music...

2007-06-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

While Daddy was on the road I decided to go to the dark side.....

Umm Yeth Caller

2007-06-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was on my way home from Charlotte and stopped for lunch.

Went into the bathroom to take a leak and wash my hands and there was some guy in the crapper doing his business and holding what sounded like a conference call on the phone.

First of all, I think that's a breach of etiquette but have we as a society, reached a point where we're so connected via mobile devices that you can hold a meeting while taking a dump at a Zaxby's.

I won't even let the dog in the can while I poop.
Just sayin'

I Miss You Spurs

2007-06-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

Spurs is on his first road trip for his new position. I'm very proud of Spurs, having survived I don't know how many lay-off's, buy-out's, etc. he has survived and it's because of his skills - he has mad skills. However, with this new position he will be on the road a lot, especially in the beginning. At least it's road travel and not air travel. I really get nervous when he is in the air all day on 5 different planes.

It's tough though, this week will be the longest time we have spent apart. Mainly because I am going out of town at the end of the week and won't be back until Sunday. I'm looking forward to my trip but not being away from Spurs.

So to remind Spurs what I miss about him, I have compiled the following list:

* I miss coming home after work and having Spurs at home asking me how my day went, talking about our collective gripes with our jobs.

* I miss him preparing dinner while we have the Ipod blaring and every now and again, in between preping and cooking, slow dancing in the kitchen or living room.

* I miss sitting on the couch, watching our recorded shows on the DVR while holding hands and laughing at either Lynkin or Stella or both.

* I miss our evening tea on our balcony.

* I miss getting ready for bed, crawling into bed, and getting into our snuggle positions while watching CNN and drifting off to sleep holding one another.

* I miss waking up early in the morning while Spurs is still asleep and he always pulls at my PJ's as I try to crawl out of bed, playfully trying to keep me in the bed.

* I miss kissing his cheek as I am leaving the house to go to work and him saying "I love you, be careful, and have a good day."

This is how our typical work week goes. Not having him here is quite lonely. We talk on the phone every day but it's not the same. I am however very proud of him and we will get through all of this travel time, we have in the past. It's just tough sometimes.

I miss you babe and can't wait to see you on Sunday!

Now - TAG, you are it, you have to write a "Miss You" post to me...

Kitty Doppler

2007-06-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Screw Jim Cantore and the Weather Channel.
I have something far superior to alert me to impending bad weather.
I call it Kitty Doppler.

Ever since we lived in Lubbock, any time a severe thunder and lightning type event is about to hit, our cat Stella goes mental about 2 hours prior.
She didn't freak like this in Charleston but I guess the storms in Lubbock triggered some sort of barometric monitor. She gets all crouched down and makes this painful mewing sound and looks for a place to hide.

She alerted me yesterday at around 2:30. I checked the Weather Channel and they said nothing. I was writing this post around 4 or so and the bottom dropped out. I checked the Weather Channel and now they had alerts. Lightning, thunder high winds and rain and voila, the power gets knocked out. Couldn't find the cat anyhere.

About 45 minutes later Stella pops out from behind some books on a book shelf in the center most part of the house and gives the all clear by rolling on her back and showing me her what nots. There was no power so I couldn't check and see if the Weather Channel agreed. But for my money, I'm sticking with the cat.

Summer of Spurs Update

2007-06-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

The Summer of Spurs has been called off.
I should be happy I suppose. The applicant list was looooong for this position.
On the plus side, it's a decent paying gig supporting 60 locations.
On the down side, I was really looking forward to a little time off.
Travel begins in earnest next week. Yay for me!
Just 2 more stays and I become a Super Duper Quadruple Platinum Marriott Rewards person. I wonder if I should include that on my resume....

Summer Of Spurs

2007-05-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

I am heading to Atlanta to interview for another position within the company.
If this doesn't work out, I will become a casualty of the "Work Force Reduction" initiative.

When the powers that be broke up my job duties, they spread them to 5 other employees so I can certainly see their logic.(He says dripping with sarcasm)

Anyway, I'm not too worried at this point because my severance package will pay me through November. Which is better than a kick to the marbles I'd say.

I was telling Napster that I have always had a job of some sort and this may be the perfect opportunity to take a little time off and recharge.
Oddly she's OK with this.

So barring a Governor's reprieve, 12:01 AM on June 1st will mark the beginning of the "Summer of Spurs".
Have mercy on all of us.

Ummmm

2007-05-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

Now I really feel ripped off.
It appears that the De La Hoya/Mayweather bout has set the all time record for a pay per view event.
From now on, if the event doesn't come with a "somebody's gettin' knocked the fuck out" clause. I'm not buying.

Walking herpetic lesion Paris Hilton has a petition circulating to keep her out of jail. And people are signing it....
I think those people should be drug outside and be bludgeoned with a five pound stick of Genoa Salami.

I'm not going to name names but a relatively prominent local attorney has been charged with murder.
This dill-hole got tanked and was found naked in the champaign room of a local "Gentleman's Club". Everybody knows there ain't no sex in the champaign room.
Natch' he gets kicked out of the club but decides that firing a gun back through the front door of the establishment would be the prudent thing to do and winds up killing an innocent.
Then he drives back to his house and calls 911 because someone is trying to break in.
It was the police...
His excuse - bipolar and an alcoholic.
Now he's on the news every night looking remorseful and I'm sick of it.

If you're a bipolar drunk, don't get hammered and drive to a strip club with a loaded fucking gun.
Too often lately, I've seen people make bad choices and pull out the bipolar substance abuse card and it's just pissing me off.
The newest version of the get out of jail free card....
Take your pills, don't drink and shut the hell up.
If you choose not to do these things and mess up then it sucks to be you and take your punishment like a man/woman.

Peace out

Gack!

2007-05-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Who would've ever thought that NBA thug wanna be and general ass clown Ron Artest would get less jail time than that Uber skank Paris Hilton?

She'll probably wind up with a movie and book deal.
The world is truely an unfair SOB.

We had our BFF's Big Guy and Blinky over on Saturday to watch the De La Hoya Mayweather fight. After having a chance to go back and rewatch this fight sober. I still say De La Hoya won and for $55 bucks on PPV I feel like somebody should have gotten knocked the fuck out. I mean come on guys, the most blood I saw all weekend came from the Phoenix Suns Steve Nash.

I don't know if you had the chance or inclination to watch the NFL draft but watching Brady Quinn squirm in the Green Room as he slipped from top 3 prospect to 22nd overall was painful. At one point, I thought his girlfirend was going to run off with JaMarcus...
No way I'd put myself through that kind of crap...

I wonder if the good Reverend Jesse and the Rainbow Coalition along with Pimp Daddy Al will be marching in Kansas to ensure that these towns are rebuilt and have the neccesary Federal help...hmmmmm
I wouldn't hold your breath

What Not To Google For

2007-05-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

My lovely husband Spurs won tickets to the All Star NASCAR race in NC. I have never been to a NASCAR race so whenever I go to any type of sporting event I need to have the correct wardrobe. So my instructions from Spurs was "Wear something very comfortable because we will be doing a lot of walking." So in my mind I'm trying to figure out my wardrobe for this event. I'm thinking capri's, flat shoes (which I don't own) and a cute t-shirt of some sort. So I go trolling on the internet looking for a cute NASCAR related t-shirt. I'm not a huge fan of anyone in particular but I tend to like Tony Stewart. Maybe it's because of the huge amount of money I gave to Home Depot when renovating my last house.

So..I go trolling on Google looking for cute Tony Stewart t-shirts for women. Of course, the NASCAR site didn't have the one I liked in my size. So I start thinking of Sporting Good stores in our area. So I think of Dick's Sporting Goods. While having my "Blonde Moment" instead of typing in "Dick's Sporting Goods" I type in "Dicks" in the search box for Google. Wow - I thought Spurs was going to spit his drink across the room. Luckily "Dick's Sporting Goods" came up first but the rest of the list was very interesting..

Stop Looking At The Clock

2007-04-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

I'm at the point in my life where I want to stop looking at the clock. You know, setting the alarm for the morning, looking at the clock during the work day. I'm over it! I want to be at the point where the wake up time doesn't matter, and you don't have to watch the clock at night to make sure you go to bed in time to get your eight hours of sleep. I'M OVER IT!

Now, either I have to win the lottery or one of you need to gift me about $5,000,000 to make my dream come true. Let me know......

I'm tired of watching a clock!

Doing A Solid

2007-04-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

Do you know what it means to "Do a Solid" for someone? Let me tell you about it. Our best friends who are luckily our neighbors did a total Solid for me this weekend. Spurs is doing his tour of "Shawshank" for three weeks and coming home for about 38 hours on the weekends. This sucks on a monumental scale for me. I miss him so much and the short time on the weekends isn't fair. But I'm a whiny baby and it sucks to be me.

Anyway, this past Friday I left work and stopped by the grocery store to get all of our needs for the weekend so we wouldn't have to go anywhere. There was laundry to do, packing to do, couple time to do, etc. So I get home around 6:20 and am rushing to get everything put up and the house cleaned up and needed to leave around 8:40 to head to the airport to pick up my baby. So my best friend Blinkie keeps psycho calling me, cell phone, home phone, etc. This isn't normal unless there is something going on. I was concerned that she needed something immediately because they knew that Spurs was coming home that evening. So she calls and I answer and she says "I need you to come over really fast because I know you are preparing for Spurs to come home, but I need you to come settle something between me and the Big Guy." So I think, okay, she went shopping the other night and they are going to a wedding Saturday night so maybe it's the dress she bought, she may need a second opinion. So I put the groceries away and head next door to see what's up. I walk in and am warmly greeted as usual and I see The Big Guy on the porch and I see another person sitting out there but can only see the foot. As Blinkie is talking to me I am looking at the foot of the person sitting on the porch and it looks familiar - the shoe - it looks familiar. So I walk on over and there he is - my baby - Spurs! He is sitting on their porch drinking a martini. WOW! I was so happy I thought I might cry. He decided to take an earlier flight to avoid the weather happening in the midwest and had The Big Guy pick him up at the airport. And Blinkie and The Big Guy being the best friends ever decided to make it a surprise for me. They knew how depressed I had been the whole week with him being gone and me stressing over having to pick him up at the airport late Friday night. Ahh, it was so nice, I can't even put it into words. My baby was home safe and sound and we just casually strolled over to our place and had a full evening together! It was the best! That was a total SOLID! Thanks you guys! You are the best ever!

So You Think Your Family Is F'd Up?

2007-04-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

I watched a movie today through 'on demand' because there wasn't crap on my 200 channels of digital cable. Spurs read this book a few months ago and couldn't finish it because he said it was too depressing to finish. That's huge for Spurs, he usually finishes a book in a day or two. So I watched the movie today. Running with Scissors. Wow - now I know why he couldn't finish it - that was one f'd up family. What a weird movie. A good watch though on this gloomy depressing Sunday.

Girls Weekend....a few weeks later

2007-04-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

I just went through all the pictures that Sissy sent to me from our girls weekend. I know, it's been a few weeks since this took place but let me preface this by saying that during our girls weekend I was coming down with not only a virus but a bacterial infection and once I got home and collapsed I was out of work for four days and totally driving Spurs crazy. You wanna hear about a trouper? I had a 102 temperature with chills and body aches and made it through the nite in Chucktown with flying colors. And I didn't even realize we took a picture with the guy from NOJO on the elevator we were trapped in at the end of the night for like half and hour..that's a whole other blog entry.

Anyway, we had a great time as usual and I love the pictures that Sissy takes, she should re-think her career and become a photographer! So from all the pictures she took, my favorite was one taken from the Friday night before we took off when Sissy, Spurs, Morrigan and I partook in more than a few adult beverages and then decided to play Wii. So when Spurs and Morrigan get together it's like a brother and sister at the ages of 7 and 9. 7 being Mo and 9 being Spurs. They fight like...well cats and dogs. Constantly arguing and flipping each other off. It's great fun! AND, they are both sooo competitive and I guess the Wii got them all riled up so Spurs just decided to pick up Mo and put her in her place. It just cracks me up because Spurs is such a line-backer sized guy and Mo is so tiny....

Anyway, great times you guys, thank you!!

Open Toe Shoe Pledge

2007-03-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

Received via email from a friend who I will deem as "Local Shrimp" and it's oh so appropriate, especially considering what I have seen at work lately.

Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below....

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge:
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules
when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the p olish fresh, intact and chip-free..

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,
mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into
place hoping it w ill stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.
Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low
price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vie nna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they are actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and
have a real pedicure (they are about $35 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Pollen Contest

2007-03-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

I thought about this way too late. I wanted to take a picture of my car and start a "who has the most pollen covering their car" contest. But today I drove up to our little mailbox kiosk and used the hose to spray off my car. I guarantee you though by tomorrow it will probably look the same as it did before I sprayed it. I'll wait a few more days and then take a picture. I have a black car so with all the green pollen covering it I couldn't help but think about this. If you have to use your windshield wipers in the morning just to see past all of the green gunk it's a baaad pollen season.

Feel free to post a picture if you haven't rinsed your car yet :) I think a contest is still in order.

Overheard from Spurs

2007-03-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

Do you know what the official scent of South Carolina is? Off!

Overheard while trying to get the 1,000,000 gnats off of our screened in porch while using our Off spray!

Heh!

2007-03-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

With Naps, Sissy and Mo heading to Chucktown for the weekend I need a project.
I've found it.

Update - Here you go Contagion

The Mo Fest

2007-02-25T14:36:00.000-08:00

Well I made it there and back. It was nice traveling back to my hometown and in a way very nerve racking. I forgot about the highways and traffic and stupid people on the road. All in all it was a great time!

Where do I start. It was quite overwhelming really. Finally meeting Hubba and Bou and seeing Mo for the first time in over a year. The festivities were very fun and well planned by Mo's college roommate and best friend who I will deem Tally 5-0 (heh, heh).

I can't tell you how strange it is walking into Mo's new digs. I am so used to Mo living on her own in her usual space who is now owned by Sissy which was also weird on a totally separate level. Mo's new place is so beautiful and I can see so many touches of her in it and it felt so comfortable and at ease which is totally Mo for those that have had the pleasure of meeting her. I also had the pleasure of staying with Sissy in her new digs which she has molded into her own and her new place looks amazing. I am so proud of her, sometimes I feel like the big sister :) Sissy has done such a great job of furnishing and decorating her place. I felt equally relaxed and at home in her space as well. Not to mention her company, I always have a great time with Sissy.

I don't think I can get over how much Mo and Hubba are alike. It was quite fascinating really. I would very much like to adopt Hubba as my Mom. She was so warm and inviting and gives the best hugs ever! I can see exactly how Mo has inherited her strength, intelligence, and quick wit from her Mom. Bou was totally opposite of how I thought she would be. I imagined an older version of Mo. Bou also has the quick wit but in a more reserved way and she radiates intelligence and wisdom. The type of person you can really just sit back with and have a great conversation with but who will also crack you up when you least expect it. Just seeing these three women in the same room made me smile. Such beautiful strong and intelligent women. It was so nice just being around all of them at the same time.

I'm sure you will hear much more from Bou and Sissy about this weekend. I can't wait for the big day and for Spurs to meet Mo's family as well. Thanks to Mo, Hubba, Bou, Tally 5-0 and Sissy for making me feel so at home and welcome. I had a great weekend!

Things

2007-02-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

It's never too early to start shopping for my Birthday.

And these photos are so cute I want to puke.

OK, back to work

Crocs Rock!!

2007-02-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

I have made so much fun of people that wear Crocs that I feel really guilty about this post and my latest purchase. I needed a pair of shoes to wear around the house and to take Lynkin out for walks. I have tennis shoes but being the lazy person that I am in the morning I hate having to put those on and tie them up just to take the dog out or the trash or to check the mail. I bought a cheap pair of house shoes from TJ Max but they were the furry type of slide ons and they make my feet sweat and eventually they have a nice funky odor about them (c'mon, you guys know where I'm coming from - house shoes = sweaty stinky feet.

So during my shopping time today to get some new duds for my new gig I had to get a new pair of black boots. I have worn the same black boots for like 4 or 5 years now and it's time for a new pair in my mind. While buying said boots at Dillards (50% off too!!) I noticed the wall of Crocs and got curious.

I love Mario Batalli from the Food Network and he cracks me up with his bright orange Crocs (and I really appreciate chefs that look like they actually eat the food they make). Then I've noticed whenever I go to the doctor, all of the nurses are wearing them. So I'm thinking, hey - they must be comfie if people that stand on their feet all day are wearing them.

So while trying on my new boots I grab a pair of black mary-jane style Crocs and slip them on. I'm telling you here and now - they are sooo awesome! It's like a fun little foot massage going on everytime I get up and walk around with them on. I'm totally converted. They have those nice little holes all over that ventilate your feet and these cool little massagie thingies on the bottom that feel sooo good when you get up and walk around in them.

I know my fashionistas out there will be shocked that I actually own a pair - but I think I'm at an age now that comfort rules over fashion. But I do have limits - I will only wear these out in public when going to the grocery store, gas station, etc. and NO I will not be wearing anything but black socks with my black Crocs. It cracks me up when I see women wearing brightly colored Crocs with white socks :) It's like the older gentlemen wearing sandals with either black or white socks :)

The Final Countdown

2007-02-05T12:30:00.000-08:00

It finally happened. Someone has employed me. I'm both excited and not. It's not the job or the salary that I had hoped for but it's a starting point. I have seven days left until it starts. Granted, I have been out of work for over 7 months but now it's official - I have to actually work on Monday of next week. Not only do I have to work, I have to go into an office everyday. I have not had to go into an office for two years. My previous job allowed me to work from home. So yes, it will be total culture shock. I will have to get up early, shower, dry hair, put on make-up, pick office clothes to wear, and sit in traffic. So this week I am going to try and totally relax. Even though I have been out of work for a long while the whole time we were either packing, moving, unpacking, and then I would look for work everyday and try to fill the time that I wasn't working doing something so I didn't look too much like a slacker. Spurs works from home so I had to try and do something everyday besides sit on the couch and watch tv. Now that I know I am starting on Monday I am going to totally slack off!!! Wish me luck :) (with the job - not the slacking - I'm pretty good at slacking)

24

2007-01-30T08:56:00.000-08:00

I’ve tried to watch it, I really have.
But each time I do I get the feeling that ol’ Jack’s going to roll over in his bed and say “screw this”. Let the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, National Guard, TSA, Homeland Security, FBI, CIA, INS, Port Authority, Local/State Police, the Fire Dept. or the Hurricane guy from the Weather Channel save the world today.
I’m going back to sleep.

No Subject

2007-01-11T10:56:00.000-08:00

Found a shirt for you Sissy.
Next time duck.

Wii Good Time

2007-01-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

Sissy stopped by for a quick visit on her way back home and sure enough she brought her new Wii system with her. We had such a great time last night even though we were Wii novices. It took some getting used to with the whole hand held remote but it was a lot of fun, especially with a few people playing together. And it's a lot more fun after a few cocktails which we discovered.

As always it was a great time. We concocted a new version of cheese fondue, Spurs washed his hair with dog shampoo and I'm glad no one got knocked out and no furniture was damaged during the whole Wii playing process :)

I'm not paying attention on my conf calls

2007-01-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

Since Pat Robertson is so tight with Jeebus that he let him know about a terrorist act that will occur in late 2007. I wonder if I could get him to find out if Ohio State is going to cover the spread in the BCS Championship game. Be nice to know…

That aside, it appears that Whitney’s having a garage sale.
Wonder how much that crack pipe’s going to go for?? Yeah, you’re right, she wouldn’t sell that...

I got a Football FIKI for Cristmas. Comes in handy on days like this.

Happy New Year!!

2006-12-31T13:26:00.000-08:00

We hope everyone has a safe and happy new years eve! We are gearing up to head next door to our friends house to cook our five course meal. I think we have enough food to feed 20 people so we should be able to hang in there until midnight :) We wish everyone much luck and happiness in 2007!!!

The Amazing Goofballs

2006-12-29T14:38:00.000-08:00

The "Amazing Race" is holding an open casting call here in our hometown next week. Spurs and I are thinking of going to try out for it. Granted, Spurs and I couldn't find our way out of a paper sack but we might just be what they need as far as comic relief for the show. Spurs got lost driving through the state of Texas on our way back home and I am lucky to find the grocery store that I go to at least four times a week. We are both directionally challenged, but we sure would be a lot of fun.

The things Spurs and I could find if neccessary are:

1. A bar
2. A fast food restaurant
3. A restroom
4. A bar
5. A gas station
6. A place to shop
7. A bar

So maybe we should try-out - you never know....

Warm and Fuzzy Christmas Memories

2006-12-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

We are back home after visiting my Sister and her family for Christmas. We had such a great time. Spurs even enjoyed himself even though he hasn't been around my family very much since we have been together due to our distance from them while moving around the U.S. since we got married.

Time was spent playing board games, eating really good food as well as eating lots and lots of cookies, candy and cake. I think I may have gained 10 pounds over three days. Christmas morning was very fun since my neice and nephew have gotten a little older and their toys have gotten more advanced. I think Spurs and I spent more time playing with their new gadgets than they did. Spurs especially liked Cube World. I may have to get him some for his desk.

It was so nice being with my family again after not seeing them for about a year and a half. My Sister even took me to Ikea and now I am totally hooked on that store. I had never been to one and only bought a few small things but I want to go back and get lots more.

Lynkin took a few days to get adjusted to the other male dogs in the house but they eventually tolerated each other. Lynkin and my Sister's dog Comet even shared the couch together.

Spurs got introduced to some European traditions. My brother-in-law is Brittish and my family is part German. Spurs had never done the Christmas Cracker routine before Christmas lunch. We all sat around and ate lunch with our paper crowns on our heads. It was quite funny. Spurs even got to try Yorkshire Pudding for the first time. Yummmmm!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year! We will blog about our New Years Eve after the fact. We are attempting a five course meal with Big Guy and Blinkie this year and hopefully we will have enough food between alcoholic beverages to make everything on our menu :)

Happy Holidays

2006-12-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

Good wishes to you and yours...

Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ur!

Wikipedia

2006-12-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Man, is there anything that Wikipedia can't explain?

****Update****
I've had a couple of folks ask why in the world would I be searching Wikipedia on this subject.
I can't divulge too much information but let's just say that I'm doing some super top secret work for the goverment on improvised explosive devices...oh and I'm weird and farting is funny...

Christmas Meme

2006-12-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

My blogmom Sissy tagged both Spurs and I with this Christmas meme and even though Spurs list was much more creative, I thought I would give it a shot.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Newspaper or Plastic Grocery Bags

2. Real tree or artificial? Spurs only allowed a $25 budget for decorations so neither.

3. When do you put up the tree? No tree = no putting up a tree

4. When do you take the tree down? Geesh, No tree = no taking down a tree

5. Do you like eggnog? Does it have beer in it?

6. Favorite gift you received as a child? Rabbit fur jacket (which resembled a calico cat….hmmm, I always wondered what happened to that cat)

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We try to keep our nativity from making a scene

8. Hardest person to buy for? Stella the cat

9. Easiest person to buy for? Lynkin the dog

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail (but remember to put stamps on them next year)

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Well now that I keep thinking about the missing cat, the rabbit fur coat that resembled the cat.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Elf

13. When do you start shopping? When do I stop shopping???

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, the last time I gave someone empty beer cans they didn’t look very excited.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sugar and Carbs

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Once again, No tree = No lights

17. Favorite Christmas song? Rudolph got run over by grandma

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Like time travel?

19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeers? Glowy, Smelly, Mangy, Itchy, Humpy, Tripod and Venison.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Usually it’s Spurs until I yell and tell him to get down.

21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Spurs and I open our presents at least two weeks before Christmas – it saves all the clean-up on the big day.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Re-runs

23. Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? Well mostly, but sometimes he ends up in my kidney.

24. What would you like for Christmas? Health and happiness for everyone!!

X-Mas Meme

2006-12-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

My ex blogmother tagged me with this Christmas meme that's making the rounds like the freakin' Hantavirus so here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Plastic

2.Real tree or artificial? Plastic

3.When do you put up the tree? Whenever Napster says

4.When do you take the tree down? Whenever Napster says

5.Do you like eggnog? No, it gives me gas

6.Favorite gift you received as a child? I never got gifts because I was always on the “naughty” list for a string of uncorroborated incidents that I cannot go into because of the statute of limitations.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? What’s Nativity? Isn’t that a candy of some sort?

8.Hardest person to buy for? Donald Trump. He’s got everything.

9.Easiest person to buy for? The dog. She likes playing with my underwear so she’s not too particular.

10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Telekinesis

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I told you I don’t get presents, now let it go

12.Favorite Christmas movie? Cindy Lou Who does The Grinch

13.When do you start shopping? Christmas Eve around 6:30 or so. You can get a lot of deals at the 7-11 at that time.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I told you for the 3rd time I don’t get presents.

15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Bacon

16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Depends. Have I been drinking?

17.Favorite Christmas song? Carry On My Wayward Son

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. This anklet that I have to wear prevents travel..

19.Can you name all of Santa's Reindeers? Mike, Carol, Greg, Peter, Bobby, Jan, Marcia, Cindy and Alice. Jeez, everybody knows that.

20.Angel on the tree top or a star? Empty beer can

21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? What’s with all the damn present questions!! For the last time, I don’t get presents!!

22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? All of the stupid smiling and laughing. Bah!

23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? No, I keep him in a safety deposit box in the Caymans.

24.What would you like for Christmas? Peace on Earth, Good Will and bacon but not necessarily in that order

Santa Busted

2006-12-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

Santa was not being very jovial and got his feaky ass locked up in my hometown.

You Never Know When You Are On Video

2006-12-17T16:04:00.000-08:00

My buddy had bouncer duty at a bar here in town and ended up on My Space.... Here is the video of my buddy listening to a fine young lad who's extolling the virtues of alcohol consumption.

Person of the Year

2006-12-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Since I'm Time Magazine's Person of the Year.
I was wondering if it would appear egocentric to include this on my resume?

Ahhh, New Technology

2006-12-15T15:44:00.000-08:00

My most wonderful loving husband got me the best gift for Christmas ever! A new cell phone! My cell phone bit the dust a few months ago due to a tragic cat versus dog incident. They were chasing each other around the living room and my phone was plugged into the charger and resting on the mantel - needless to say some sort of animal leg got tangled in the cord and it came a tumbling down onto the tile and the screen was toast. I went back to my old, old, old phone since we weren't in a position to buy a new one and I hated it. I am a gadget techno freak and it was so hard having old technology in my hand. Spurs still works for a cell phone company and I used to so we were always used to having the latest and greatest so it's hard to go backwards.

I think the hardest part about getting new technology as in a new cell phone is deciding what type of ringer to pick for my favorite people. Spurs was an easy choice, usually I pick the Carolina fight song but this time I wanted something different for him. I picked "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake. The reason I picked this song for my beloved is because of his "Sexy" look day-to-day. Spurs works from home and I am unemployed so we are together all the time. Since Spurs works from home he wakes up, checks his email, listens in on some conference calls, etc. all while in his t-shirt, sweat-pants, bed-head mohawk, and scruffy facial hair growth. He is drop-dead sexy I must say, therefore the song for his ringer fits :)

***UPDATE***
Spurs requested a different ringer - TNT by AC/DC. He wasn't ready to bring "Sexy Back".

For my best-friend Morrigan the choice is quite easier. It's always the FSU fight song of some sort. Now, thankfully the cellular provider I have has more options for the FSU fight song. I wanted to download the chant "F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E" ect. (you either know it or you don't). Spurs wouldn't allow that ringer - his quote was "If you use that as Morrigan's ringer I will throw the phone out the window when she calls". So, I opted for the other chant - hard to put into text but it's a lot like the Atlanta Braves Indian chant. So again, that one was an easy one. Plus it reminds me of our trips to Talla and watching the stretchy boys before the game...ahhhh...

For our dear friends "Big-Guy and Blinkie" the choice was easy too, "Bar-Light" by Charlie Robinson - it's our boat song and pretty much our anthem :)

My standard ringer was easy, it's always U2 and this time it's a different version of Vertigo. I'm a U2 freak if you didn't already know. My voicemail ringer, well I chose a different one than usual, it used to be Holla Back from Gwen Stefani but this time I chose a new song by her.

The hardest ringer I had to choose (and I haven't chosen one yet) is for Sissy. She is such a music connoisseur that it's hard to pick the right song for her. I texted her and asked what I should choose and her response was "Whatever reminds you of me". Well that narrows it down, thanks Sissy. I'll come up with one, it will just take more time. Sissy is a lot like me, whenever she gets anything new electronic wise it has to be set up right away and customized as we want it :)

***UPDATE***
Sissy sent me a perfect ringer for her :)

Anyway, as I ramble on and on and on, I just have to say, it's sooo nice to have a new electronic gadget. Yes, I am a total geek!

Procrastination Pays Off

2006-12-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

Spurs and I are going to spend Christmas at my Sister's house this year. My Dad lives with my Sister and her family so it will be nice to see them all and to stay in their house. My Mom always made Christmas so special and it's my favorite time of year for that reason. I called my Sister last night and she said that they decorated the inside and outside of the house over the weekend and I can't wait to see it. She let each of the kids decorate their room however they wanted to and she said my nephew's room resembles Vegas with all the flashing lights he strung throughout his entire room. I said that Spurs would feel right at home in his room :)

Thankfully I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet because (A) I am a huge procrastinator all of a sudden and (B) I just didn't want to deal with it. So luckily all I have to get this year are gift cards. I'm glad my niece and nephews are into getting either cash or gift cards now so they can buy what they want, it makes it so much easier and less stressful. I was worried though that it wasn't very personal and since I wasn't mailing it this year and would be in person I asked if I should get any little gifts for them to open besides their gift cards and my sister promptly replied "NO" they are getting enough, just get the cards. Wahoo! Works for me!! So it's off to Publix tomorrow to do my gift card shopping :)

She's Licking It

2006-12-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well so much for "Don't Lick the Hoo-Hoo Lynkin". I picked her up today to check on her sutures and sure enough one was opening up. It was 11:30 am and I called the Vet to see if I could bring her in. They closed at 12:00 but said to bring her on in as fast as I could. We get up there with 10 minutes to spare and they checked her out. Sure enough the Vet says that she has been licking too much and opened it up a bit. I had two options - the "sock" as they put it or the cone of silence. Well I opted for both just in case. They fit her with the "sock" which is a lovely red fishnet looking piece that fits like a tube and they cut holes for her front and back legs as well as her rear. I have never laughed so hard in my life. She looks like a sausage you buy at the store with the netting around it :) I couldn't resist!

She is sooo embarassed, she wouldn't even look at the camera. She has spent most of the day in her crate and the only way I could even take the picture was to lure her out and then shut the crate door. Spurs said I was an evil mama :) Oh, and even better - I have to clean the open suture area everyday and put neosporin on it and keep a piece of gauze over it - that has been a fun challenge today. Every time she walks or moves the gauze slides all around in the netting. Spurs is dying to put the cone around her head just for laughs but I will only use that as a last resort - they didn't have an extra small so they gave me a small and showed me how to put it on her but I don't think she will be able to eat her food or drink water with that lampshade on.

I can't wait for these next 10 days to be over and for her to be fully healed.

No Licking Of The Hoo-Hoo

2006-12-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

That is the quote of the past two days from the house of Spurs & Napster. Little Lynkin is doing good. BUT, she cannot lick the Hoo-Hoo. So every five minutes, it's "Don't Lick The Hoo-Hoo". The Vet told me that if she starts licking that either she needs the cone of silence or I should go get her a newborn onesie from Wal-Mart so she can't get to it. She had nothin to do with the wonsies I bought so - it's "Don't Lick The Hoo-Hoo Lynkin".

So it's conflicting info when it comes to little Lynkin sleeping in our bed last night, "Mama says - LICK THE HOO-HOO" then when Lynkin tries it it's "Don't lick the Hoo-Hoo Lynkin"! Hahahaha! Just Kidding :) (Not Really).

Our little girl is doing good since her "FIX" yesterday but it's tough to keep her from jumping up and down off of the couch and to stop licking her special place :)

We shall keep you updated - the Vet says we should keep her from "Jumping" "Licking" and "Rough Housing" for 10 days. YIKES! The next 10 days should be challenging.

After having her in the bed last night all Spurs heard was "Don't Roll Over On The Baby" :)

How could I not??

2006-12-07T14:11:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Contagion

Your Penis Name Is...

Elvis

Penis Name Generator

I thought so....gives new meaning to Hunka' Hunka' Burning Love

2006-12-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.
He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost".

Lynkin under the Knife...or Laser

2006-12-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big "fix" day for Lynkin. Spurs and I went back and forth about getting her fixed but in the end I assured him he does not want to go through the "heat" thing. It's bad enough he is in a house with three females even though Stella is fixed but imagine PMS and in addition, a dog in heat. Not a good combo. We are going to ATL for X-Mas this year and Lynkin is coming along since I can't bare to put her in a kennel for that long and in my family's house there are two male dogs that are fixed but I thought it would be best not to tempt them with a fertile female....the whole, it's been snipped but you can't change the male brain and all that.

So I asked around and found a vet and went and visited the facility the other day to make sure it didn't look creepy and run down - it's brand new and it's a beautiful facility. I called and made the appointment and the girl at the vet said they now do it with a laser. She said they are one of the few vet offices in the city that use this procedure but she assured me it's a lot safer and more comfortable for the animal. The best part is that I get to pick her up the same day!!

So everyone say a little doggie prayer for my girl tomorrow, it's her first big surgery and hopefully her last!

Always Go With Your Gut

2006-12-05T14:10:00.000-08:00

Today I had a choice between picking a few things up either at Publix or Super Wal-Mart. W-M seemed the logical choice since it wasn't groceries I needed but more like canned and bottled drinks, pain releivers and a kitchen gadget. I'm trying to not shop at Publix too often because they are quite expensive where we live. So I pop into W-M around 3:00 pm and think it should be a snap, right? WRONG! Don't go near W-M during the month of December no matter what time of day it is. I also think it's worse at this one since they do sell groceries. I was in that place fighting through the isles with my cart for over 30 minutes just to buy four items! It's not like the people shopping there were in the nicest of moods either. What happened to Holiday Spirit? So needless to say - no more W-M shopping for me this month, unless I am heavily sedated before entering.

Brain goes Pop

2006-12-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

I am currently on a conference call.
They started early this morning and have not stopped.
If I hear the following terms again in the next month or so I might very well lose it.
blah blah blah Net Net blah blah blah At the end of the day blah blah blah Status Report blah blah Work Plan blah Non Funded Position blah blah blah blah Hiring Freeze
blah blah Market Ready blah blah Comp Plan blah High Level Overview blah blah blah Macro View blah Micro View blah blah Headcount blah blah Across the Board blah Jump on Board blah blah blah Sign Off blah blah Actuals and blah blah blah No Brainer.
And my personal favorite….That’s open to interpretation. Yeah right so's EBITDA.

Excuse me now, I have another mother lovin’ call to jump on

Happy Birthday To Me

2006-11-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ever since Mo, Napster and myself began to hang out Mo would always call to sing the "Birthday Song" on that special day...
It's not your typical "Happy Birthday To You" song. It's quite different and I dare say that I've become quite fond of it.
I know, I know she's planning a wedding that is only 4 or 5 months away.
Today is my birthday.
I'm very sad because Mo didn't call to sing the Birthday Song....very sad indeed...
Hurt is probably a better term. No wait, how about crushed...yeah maybe crushed would be better.
Or what about dejected, downcast, blue, brokenhearted, crestfallen, despondent, forlorn, inconsolable or woebegone. Thanks Mo...sniff...you're the best...where did you register??

Happy Birthday Spurs

2006-11-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

Today is Spurs 29th birthday :) Happy Birthday Spurs!

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-21T06:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's two more days until Thanksgiving and at the house of Spurs and Napster we have:

- One broken pinky toe (Spurs)
- Fourty degrees outside with gale force winds, a wind chill of 30 degrees and sleet
- Did I mention we live in the South - WTF is going on with the weather??
- One unemployed Napster (still)
- One smelly Lynkin that almost blew away with the wind this morning on her walk
- One totally neurotic cat that is getting crazier by the minute (she see's dead people)
- One chance to help the in-laws fry a turkey tomorrow (the only turkey being made) in an electric turkey fryer - oh and did I mention it will be raining and windy tomorrow too -- nice

I hope everyone else is having a happy Holiday week! Happy Thanksgiving!

The German In Me

2006-11-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

My Dad is coming to visit me and Spurs tomorrow. I have been (as Spurs says) cleaning like a German all day today. My Mom is 100% German and I have inherited all of her cleaning eccentricity. My Mom would clean like no one's business. It was her Mom's fault or maybe just the German way. My Grandmother was ruthless. She lived in an apartment house where we went to visit her for several summers while we were young and you would walk up concrete steps to get to her apartment. Once a week she would bleach those concrete steps with a mop throughout each floor. Every tenant took a turn during the week. The laundry was in the attic of the apartment house and I have very fond memories of following my grandmother up to the attic when I was young and it smelled so good, the fresh laundry would be hanging by clothes pins on lines throughout the huge attic and I loved it. Just the fresh air coming through the windows that didn't have screens (you won't find screens anywhere in Europe) and the green rolling hills and the strawberry fields in the garden where we would go pick strawberries and eat them right out of the ground because no pesticides were used. I have very fond memories of my visits to Germany as well as my visits to England where my Sister lived for 6 years.

My Dad met my Mom while he was stationed in Germany with the Air Force and swept her off of her feet and brought her to the States. Throughout my life any house we lived in, military or our own was always spotless. Every floor, crack and base board was clean enough to eat off of. That had a big impression on me. Granted when I was a teenager I could have cared less. My Mom was horrified by the piles of clothes in my room and the state of my bathroom but she would always tidy up and clean the bathrooms so they would be sparkling. This is how I grew up.

So during my first marriage I was paranoid about everything being spotless. Probably because that was the brightest point I could focus on, having a clean house. After the divorce and living with my Dad for a while I slacked off a lot. Then when I married Spurs I wasn't the same with keeping everything so clean that you could eat off of the floor. I do clean once a week but it's usually a light cleaning and then the deep cleaning happens at least once or twice a month. Sometimes I get restless because I don't have a job right now so my creative side also directs me to clean and rearrange my space.

When I found out that my Dad was coming to visit for the week I got up this morning really early as Spurs was leaving to go out of town for a short business trip so I saw him off and then directly started to clean. It's like I was channeling my Mom, because I cleaned like I have never cleaned before.

When my Dad finally retired from working overseas in Saudi Arabia after 15 years (after retiring from the Air Force my Dad could not work in the U.S. as an air traffic controller, he could only work in the middle east), my Mom developed brain cancer and had a very large tumor. She had two brain surgeries and all the chemo and radiation that you have when you are in that state. After her second surgery from the second tumor the Doctor's said it would be best just to keep her on morphine and let her go. Her brain was not functioning very well and her short term memory was shot. Her speech and everything else slowly went downhill. My Dad took care of her through the entire process. We did hospice out of their own home with the whole hospital bed, nurse visits and everything. One day towards the end my Dad called all of us to tell us to come to their house. I left work and was there for maybe an hour and a half and we all went in and talked to our Mom who was out of it and was struggling to breathe and then she just slipped away. It always amazes me that he just knew to call us. The hardest part was calling my Sister who lived in England at that time to tell her what happened. I don't have a problem with death. My Mom had suffered enough and I was glad she was in a better place. My oldest brother died in a car accident at 19 (I was young) and hopefully they found one another again. That is my hope.

So on a brighter note, I know that my Dad is used to a very clean house and hopefully he will find ours to his liking. My Dad and I haven't really gotten to know each other very well due to his many years overseas and the fact that I am the very youngest. My next sibling is six years older than I am. He has always been there for me to provide whatever support he could and he has always provided for our entire family while being in not the best conditions living in saudi arabia for a very long time, just so he could earn a good living to provide for us.

I'm so glad that he is coming for a visit and I'm sure we will have a great time!! At least I know my home is very clean and comfortable. I will attempt to cook him a good meal tomorrow night (who knows how that will turn out). Once Spurs gets back home the food will be much better :)

Spurs The Chef

2006-11-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

As some of you out there know, Spurs is a great chef. I do not have this gift and am lucky to have married a man that can not only cook but cook really well. One thing about Spurs is he likes to experiment and once he makes something he always finds ways to improve it.

The other night we decided to have Tacos. The kind you make from the box and ground beef. I like to have things like this every now and again because it reminds me of my childhood. Spurs does not follow the directions on the box, he decides to make it his own and add special touches. He put onions and garlic and spices into the ground beef while it was browning. He then put freshly grated monterey jack cheese inside the unbaked taco shells and then put a layer of ground beef over that and then another layer of cheese on top of the beef and then baked them. Then they were topped with grated lettuce and freshly cut tomatoes. I swear those were the best tacos I have ever had, even comparing the ones we had in Texas at authentic Mexican restaurants. After telling him over and over again how great they were his mind was already thinking about ways to improve upon them.

Last night we ordered one of those new Brooklyn style pizzas from the delivery place (yes, this week hasn't been our healthiest of eating weeks) and it was really good. Both Spurs and I like the thin crust style pizza with just cheese or maybe cheese and sausage. This morning we had a few slices of pizza left that had the chunky style sausage on top. Spurs decides he is going to make some cheese grits and throw in some of the sausage that was left on the pizza. After seeing him do this I thought it looked pretty gross. As he started to eat it he asked me to try a spoonful. I did not want any of the sausage but I tried just the grits. I swear it tasted just like pizza. I think there might be a market for Pizza Grits. It would be great hangover breakfast food :)

I think Spurs should have a show on Food Network called 'Experimental Chef' where he takes things we eat all the time and adds his special touches to them. I think it would go over great :)

Get Well Soon Sissy!

2006-10-31T08:41:00.000-08:00

Today is the day of the surgery. Hopefully all goes well and Sissy will be back on her feet soon and eating all the food she could never eat before :) She will have to come back for a visit so she can truly enjoy all the bad food we ate last time without writhing in pain all night.

GET WELL SOON SISSY!!!

Corn Shocks?

2006-10-31T08:36:00.000-08:00

There is a hand made sign on the street where we live that says "Corn Shocks For Sale". Everytime we pass it we look at each other and wonder what corn shocks are. We thought of a corn shuck or corn stalks and just thought that the person that wrote the sign wasn't very smart. We finally Googled it and it truly is a term for corn stalks that have been bound together. Guess we weren't as smart as we thought we were.

The Texan Has Left The Building

2006-10-31T08:21:00.000-08:00

What a wild weekend it has been and by weekend I mean Thursday through Monday :) Our friend from Texas came to visit us in our new place on the lake and the fun never stopped from the time he got here till the time he left. I feel like I should be in college since I've had a hang over every morning for the past four days.

We had a great time J.A. and hope we can do it again soon either in the West or the East - it doesn't matter - I think all of us could have fun no matter where we were and hopefully your honey bear can come next time.

Oh, and let's not forget about who made the first American Flag or that while you are downtown there is a guy that will let you kick him in the groin as long as you give him $2 :)

What Happened To Fall?

2006-10-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

It is sooo cold here all of a sudden. I want Fall!! I want 60 degrees!! I do not want 32 degrees!!

Yes, it was 32 degrees here this morning. I was laughing when reading Bou's post about the cold here except we aren't even getting Fall weather, it just skipped a season and went right into winter.

We don't want to turn on the heat yet but it's 60 degrees inside our condo and it's freezing outside. We live on the lake so we are getting even colder breezes from the water. My toes are numb and I have on socks and tennis shoes. This sucks. I like the cold as long as I am warm and cozy inside. I even survived Alaska in November but at least there they have the heat cranked up every where you go into so you really don't notice it unless you just stand outside.

I have to go put my fifth layer of clothing on just to sit in my living room.

Roaches Are Falling From The Sky

2006-10-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

I have one to top Sissy's roach problem in her bathroom. I was drying my hair yesterday in front of the sink in my master bathroom when I noticed out of the corner of my eye something had fallen from the ceiling vent fan. The vent fan in the master bathroom is directly above the toilet. These are older condo's and it has the old style vent fan where it looks like there is a hole in the ceiling with a big plastic cap over it with large vents on all sides so you can see the large hole.

I looked down into the toilet to see the biggest palmetto bug (very large roach) I have seen since we have moved here. It was trying it's best to get out of the water so I quickly flushed and watched it slowly swirl around to it's ultimate doom. Well let's hope it died. I know it does sometimes take an entire can of Raid to kill these things (as Sissy has demonstrated) and even then they still flail around for like hours until they finally die. So I thought, hmmm would flushing really kill this thing?

Now I'm terrified to use my toilet. I look into it every time I go into the bathroom. It totally freaks me out. But it will be a way of life living here. Not only are we in the South but we are twenty steps to the lake and living on the bottom floor so it is inevitable that we will have these huge creatures living with us. Ewwwww!

Drinks - Cocks & Cigars - Oh My!

2006-10-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

It was a fun weekend again in the Palmetto State!! Sissy came down and across to see us and luckily it was a much easier drive that it used to be out West. Friday night was pretty tame but Sissy was taken by surprise as she came into our new place and noticed I had gone from blonde to brunette :) Let's just say it was another one of my brilliant DIY moments involving box color from the store. I should know better by now.

Saturday morning started with Spurs heading out and getting us biscuits for breakfast and then it was a return to bed for our traditional mid morning nap. We had to head to the bar early to make sure we had a good table to watch the game as the Cocks were on Pay-Per-View this weekend. So the drinks started flowing at 2:00 but Sissy and I were smart enough to get a small bite to eat when we got there.

Unfortunately the table next to us was filled with a group of guys that brought their portable humidors in with them and proceeded to smoke really nasty smelling cigars the whole time they were there. I usually like the smell of a good cigar but not when there are five people sitting right next to me smoking them constantly. Sissy and I even developed a headache due to the smell.

So Sissy not only had to endure a whole table of smokers sitting around her but cigar smoke as well. Oh yeah, let's not forget being surrounded by tv's showing the Gamecock game but getting to hear the Cock-a-doodle-doo blasted every 10 minutes and the volume of the game blaring in our ears. Welcome to my world :) It is a lot of fun though and the Cocks fans are great!

After stumbling out of the bar after the Gamecocks won against Vanderbilt we headed back to the homestead and fired up the grill. It was all a blur after that to me, I'm not real good at pacing myself and I think after many beers, a shot and then this new energy beer drink I was pretty much done. Sissy is a trooper though and hung in till the end - Spurs and I left her sitting on the couch watching the rest of the Cardinals game as we went to bed :)

Thanks for a great time Sissy, I hope your gall bladder has recovered :)

Make The Annoying Calls Stop

2006-10-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been getting these calls over and over again on my cell phone like three or four times a day and they never leave a message. I don't answer calls if I don't recognize the number and I figure if they really need to reach me they will leave a voicemail. One is an 866 prefix and one was a Florida number. I decided to Google them today to see if I could find out where the calls were coming from. When you have a home phone you are used to these types of annoying telemarketing calls but over the last several years we haven't had a home phone until recently but I guess they found a way to get cell numbers so they can annoy x 2.

So when I Googled the numbers today I found an interesting website. It's called Who Called Us and it gave me a lot of information in lieu of people leaving messages on their message board reporting that they are getting calls from these same numbers and what happens when they either answer the call or call the number back. It turns out that the 866 number seems to be some sort of Bank of America marketing call and the Florida number was some sort of scam asking you for your bank account number because you have won a prize.

What really annoys me about this is the elderly people that now have cell phones (like my Dad) that will answer calls like these because they think that if they got their cell phone number it must be legit because it's not like they have a Yellow Pages for cell phone numbers and possibly be taken advantage of. Now I just wish I could figure out how to make them stop calling. It's not like cell phones have a Do Not Call list you can subscribe to!!

***UPDATE***

Thank you Tink!! I went to the FTC website and called 1-888-382-1222 from my cell phone and now it's registered on the DNC list for five years!!! Hopefully after 31 days I won't be getting these annoying calls any longer and if I do I am reporting their number on the FTC website.

Sometimes you have to take a step back

2006-10-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

Oh dear lord, I've been on conference calls alllllllllll day.
I'm on one now actually.

It wouldn't bother me so much if anything was actually accomplished. But for the most part, it seems like these folks just like to talk.
My head hurts.
I'm going to Happy Hour. It's .25 cent wing night.
I really shouldn't let these things get under my skin...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Zen courtesy of Baz Luhrmann

Weekend Fun

2006-10-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

Spurs and I had a lovely football weekend with our dear friends who now are luckily our neighbors since we have moved back to the home of Spurs. We traveled to the home of the Panthers on Saturday morning and had a great time bar hopping downtown that night. We found some great bars and had good food, drinks and laughter. We always have such a great time with them and always come away with funny stories.

Sunday morning we got up early and tailgated prior to the afternoon game. We weren't too sure about the weather so we tried to dress appropriately for both the morning chill and the afternoon heat. The tailgating was a lot of fun and it was nice to just chill with all the other fans and have some drinks and take in all the sights and smells. As we were walking into the stadium I was very impressed by it. I have only been to one other stadium (dome) in my hometown of ATL so it was cool to see this one. As we got into the stadium we trekked up to our seats. We didn't have the best seats and were glad we had tickets at all because there were more people looking for tickets outstide than there were people trying to sell them. I now have a new appreciation for the term "upper deck". We were at the very tip top of the stadium but still had a great view of the field. As I heard, there really isn't a bad seat in the stadium. We did not however predict how hot it was going to be since we were only about five inches away from the actual sun. Needless to say, we got really, really, really, really hot. I think the term "The White People are Melting" was said pretty frequently. We had to escape and decided to head out during half time to go watch the game at one of the bars we found the night before.

Thankfully the home team won and we had a great weekend. Thanks Big Guy and Blinkie and son of Big Guy who we now have termed "Snatcher of Swag", we had a great time and hope to do it again later in the season when it's cooler outside. Oh, and let's hope Chili's really doesn't have "Secret Police" to hunt us down.

Tagged: Part Two

2006-09-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, I too was tagged by our wicked blog mother...

List seven songs you like right now:

1. Sexy Back: Justin Timberlake/Timberland
2. Ain't No Other Man: Christina Aguilera
3. Buttons: Pussy Cat Dolls/Snoop Dogg
4. Bar Light: Charlie Robinson
5. No Hay Igual: Nelly Furtado
6. Promiscuous: Nelly Furtado
7. Hips Don't Lie: Shakira

Granted, most of these are my treadmill songs on my Ipod - I need high energy music to keep me going.

Tagged by my wicked mom...

2006-09-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm in between the bajillion or so conference calls I have daily and thought I would respond to the meme that my lovely pal Sissy tagged me with...

List 7 songs I'm digging right now and tag some other folks blah, blah, blah...
So in no particular order

Barlight - Charlie Robinson
I Go Back - Kenny Chesney
Get Back - Ludacris
Promiscuous Girl - Nelly Furtado
East of the Sun - Dianna Krall
Somewhere between Texas and Mexico - Pat Green
St. Jimmy - Green Day

I don't know enough people to tag so guess that's it...

Phones ringing again....damn

New Digs

2006-09-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well we finally took some pictures from our new digs on the lake. Spurs really wanted me to post these because he is so excited about the view and his new boat...

Haha! Sike!

Here is a picture from our deck and this is the view we see from the entire back wall of our condo.... (sans boat - that will come later)

Here is Lynkin on our back deck, enjoying the nice mild day we are having today. She is very excited about the grass, trees, pine straw, pine cones, and squirrels since she has never seen these things before moving here....

And here is Stella looking out of the sliding glass door at Lynkin and very pissed that Lynkin is outside and she is inside. She does enjoy the new view though, it's a lot better than our previous view where she was watching tumbleweeds and dust storms....

Hope you enjoyed.. there will be more to come...

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

2006-09-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

Argghh - let's all celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day!! To celebrate, below are the top ten Pirate pick-up lines.

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Feel free to leave your own in the comments :)

First impressions

2006-09-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

We are here and somewhat settled in. I've been cleaning and unpacking like a mad woman, or as Spurs would say, as a German woman. The first impression of the new place was not great because of the lack of cleanliness but after cleaning my butt off and our furniture arriving on Friday it now feels like home. We have a lot bigger living space now and it's really nice. Just tonight I've been snuggling with Lynkin on the couch and it's been raining all day and I just looked around and felt like I was at home for the first time in a long time. We did not consider TLTTF, TX home at all, we didn't even hang any of our pictures.

The entire wall of our living room and dining room are sliding glass doors that look over the most beautiful lake and everytime you look out at it you feel at peace. I really believe that your surroundings effect your mental state. We have a huge open deck off of our living room and a screened porch off of our dining room and a small open deck off of our master bedroom. I love the water and I love trees and everything green so being able to see outside from every room and see water and greenery is making me very happy.

Stella has finally calmed down since her furniture has arrived. Cats are so territorial but I'm glad she survived her second move in two years. Lynkin is taking it all in stride. It's funny how much cats and dogs differ in their attitudes. Lynkin has seen pine straw and pine cones for the first time and saw a squirrel the other day for the first time. She is a happy girl. It's like someone being blind and then seeing these things for the first time.

I forgot about the humidity, the mosquitoes, the palmetto bugs (a.k.a cockroaches) but our view makes up for all of it. Our good friends that live in our community took us out on a boat ride Saturday and it was incredible. We had mimosas and fruit and sandwiches and great company and beautiful scenery - we are definitely getting a boat.

All in all it's been an adventure but we are so glad to be back home! I've never slept better and I have a smile on my face everytime I get up in the morning. I'm also thankful to be closer to family and friends. I can't wait to have my Dad over who loves the water like I do and I can't wait to go visit my friends in my old hometown - Mo will be the first and I am so excited to see her new place - and hopefully we will get to see Sissy's new place too!

I will take pictures soon, when it stops raining so you can put images with words.

Made it

2006-09-06T13:06:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it.
The trip odometer read 1523 as we pulled into the complex.

Now we need our furniture to make it. The movers didn’t exactly engender much confidence. We’re supposed to hear from them at some point today.

The place has a beautiful view and Naps is happy about that…
She was not happy about the fact that it didn’t look like it had been cleaned very well. She is currently cleaning like a mad woman and cursing in German. I never knew she had such a potty mouth.

I grew up in this area but haven’t spent any significant time here in 10 or so years. Feels a bit surreal.

The animals are a little freaked. Scratch that, Stella is freaked. Lynkin is having a ball.

All in all, I’m glad we’re here safely.

Moving, Day 2, 1700 Hours

2006-09-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

Never made it to the casinos in Shreveport...oh well...I don't like them anyways...

We made really good time and are safely in Birmingham.

I've got quite a few observations from day 2.

-People are stupid and can't drive.
-People are stupid and have no fucking clue how to use "cruise control".
-People are stupid and refuse to move out of the passing lane.
-People are stupid and drive way too fast on a holiday weekend.
-People are stupid and give me a warm fuzzy feeling when they're pulled over by the man. Twnety - two by my count.
-There's a town in Mississippi called Chunky. It should be next to Lubbock.
-All rest area bathrooms smell like ass and feet.
-The cat doesn't like my singing voice.
-There's really no way to eat healthy when traveling like this. We gave up today and had a Happy Meal a piece. You get weird looks in Meridian when ordering Happy Meals for adults. Screw them.
-Happy Meals give me gas.
-Stella doesn't like it when I have gas and it makes me laugh.
-Stells yells at me when I have gas. I don't like that.
-Stella has lost her collar. All signs point to Lynkin but she refuses to talk.
-And on a personal aside, when did you have to be Robert Langdon or Lara Croft to figure out how to turn on the hot water? One move to the left, enter a secret code and answer the "Riddle of the Minotaur". WTF!?!?! I need two knobs, one for hot and one for cold thank you very much.

Hopefully tomorrow, barring any unseemly Atlanta traffic mayhem, we'll be hanging out on the lake in Columbia.

Now I'll turn the mic over to Naps...

Naps here...and here are my observations from the road:

Do not let Spurs "Wing It" through the state of Texas.
Do not think that Lynkin can just sit in the car and not be in her crate - she likes to climb all of the multiple objects piled up in the back seat.
Lynkin has heard the Mama sing for the first time in the car and cocks her head to the right every time I do it.
After you leave Texas and Louisiana everyone drives like crazy people.
It's hard to be in Spurs back draft the whole drive....I think I can take him...
I'm good for maybe two hours and then I must get out of the car.
Once you enter Alabama every redneck thinks it's sexy to wiggle their tongue at you while passing you.
Stella the cat is trying to find every way possible to get out of each Residence Inn we stay at.

More to follow.....

Da move and what not...

2006-09-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

We're here in Bossier City about 2 blocks away from the casino's. Fark!!!
It ain't going to happen....

Long day, about 600 miles with the animals...
Naps got Lynkin, I've got Stella...

Oddly, Stella likes the soothing sounds of Paul Harvey as opposed to Gangsta' Rap, Who knew?

We're doing well, but damn, do we have some fodder. Wait! I swore I would never use that word.

O.K., how about some funny shit to talk about later.

I'm a lot of things but Magellan isn't one of them.
Only one wrong turn as of this point. More to come.

Naps falling asleep, I may stroll over to Binions and see how the craps tables are doing.

We're targeting Birmingham for tomorrow so we can be in time for the FSU - Miami game and I can say, albeit begrudgingly, I'm rooting for the Noles.

Later

Naps will check with you guys on the morrow'

Moving Sucks: Part 1

2006-08-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

I say "Part 1" because I have a feeling this is just the start of my "Moving Sucks" postings. Last night while waiting on Spurs to get home from his business trip I decide to go ahead and box up our printers and home computer because I have kept the original boxes through our many moves. The computer was a snap because it is a Sony and thanks to the nice people at Sony they actually put a map on the box of how to get the computer and monitor back in the box.

Then comes the printers. Unfortunately the not so nice people at HP decided it wasn't necessary to put a map on their boxes because god forbid you want to pack them back up in their original boxes. So you would think easy right? Not so much. Just a printer, two paper trays and two big pieces of styrofoam (sp?) that go on each side of the box to hold the printer in place that resemble huge puzzle pieces. ARGGGGGG! It took me five minutes to box up the computer and monitor. It took me 30 minutes to pack two printers. I thought I was going to loose my freakin mind. They should have classes at the local community college on how to pack electronics back in their original boxes!!!!!!

I'm sure there will be more episodes of "Moving Sucks" to come....stay tuned......

Warning! Warning! Warning!

2006-08-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

You know those lovely little tags they are now sewing into the insides of new clothes that have the security tracking device within the tag, especially if you buy your clothes from The Gap or Ann Taylor?? Well I found out an important fact today while running errands. I was wearing a pair of blue jean capris I got a few months ago at The Gap and it still had the security tag inside of them and since I never really noticed it irritating me I never removed it. Mind you, these capris have been washed about a dozen times since I've gotten them.

So I pop into The Gap to buy a pair of black sweat pants for our upcoming drive from hell to our new home and as soon as I walked in the alarms went off and of course everyone turned and stared at me. As I had just walked into the store they didn't really care because I guess if I had stolen something it must have been from another store??? And I didn't have any bags in my hand, only my purse on my shoulder.

So I go into the dressing room to try on the sweat pants since I've gone down a few sizes lately and I notice the security tag in my blue jean capris and summize that it must be why the alarm went off. So while checking out I mention it to the girl ringing me up so they wouldn't tackle me while leaving the store. She laughed and says it happens a lot and then said that they actually reactivate when you wash them?!?!?!?! WHA?!?!?!?

I then leave the mall as to not set off anymore alarms and head to CVS to pick up some cleaning supplies and as soon as I walk in their alarm goes off, and it's not just an annoying siren, it actually shouts loudly at you to come to the counter.... Nice... So luckily they don't raise an eyebrow to me on the way into or out of the store but of course everyone shopping stops and turns.

So tonight I will promptly remove all of those little tags out of all my clothes. Just thought I should let you guys know this interesting little tid bit of information.

Lack of Communication

2006-08-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well we are preparing for our move and during this process I have noticed that there has been a lack of communication, or shall I say a lack of listening. So when does the communication breakdown happen in a marriage? We have only been married for a year and two months and now it happens, while we are planning our move???

So, Spurs was having issues with contacting the new cable company to order our digital cable and modem service for our new place. I offered to contact them and waited on the phone on hold for a while and then finally got a hold of someone. Mind you I did this 30 minutes before my hair appointment so I thought I would have plenty of time to get through it. Spurs was busy with work (working from home) and had an upcoming conference call so I decided to tough it out on hold. Once I got in touch with someone (finally) I ordered our cable and modem and it took a while because he put me on hold every two minutes. Spurs was coming in and out of the room during this process and while on hold I expressed my concern as I had to get to my hair appointment (this is my last chance to get blond again before moving back) so he understood my frustration.

Alas I finally get through it with no time to spare and run out the door for my appointment. Later that evening I let him know what I had ordered and the date they were showing up to hook us up and even let him know that we needed a money order for the installation person as they will not accept out of state checks. So we had a whole conversation about this event, right??!?!?!?!?

Today he comes out of the office (me thinking he was on a conference call and waiting for him to get finished so I could start working out as our workout equipment is in the office) and says "Guess what, I finally got through online to order our cable and modem service but they can't show up until the 7th which is two days after we move in." WHA??? I promptly reminded him of our conversation two days ago where I stayed on the phone and ordered our service and got someone to come out the next day after we arrive to install our service. He says "Oh, I guess I wasn't really listening or I forgot." WHA???

So therefore I guess where it concerns Spurs and I it takes approximately one year and two months before the husband stops listening to what the wife is saying. Sad...Very Sad....

Update -
In my defense, it's not that I didn't hear, it's that I didn't store it in my short term memory. There's a lot going on right now both personally and professionally so I may have missed it. But hey, at least we know that the cable guys are coming...

Counting Down

2006-08-22T12:31:00.000-07:00

In 11 days Napster, Stella, Lynkin and myself begin our journey back to civilization.

We'll cover roughly 1400 miles on this trek and oddly, I'm looking forward to it.
It's not quite as far as Sissy had to go when she moved but hey, she didn't have a neurotic cat, psychotic dog and an extremely vocal but lovely wife in tow. I think I'm just glad to put this place in our rear view mirror.

We have however met a few good people here. And even a couple of folks that we'll probably stay in touch with once we've gone. But for the most part, this place has been pretty crappy. Well, maybe not crappy. Boring as hell definitely, but probably not crappy.

We're moving back to my home town. A place I haven't visited in years, much less lived there. It should be interesting to be that close to my family again.

All in all, maybe things are starting to look up.

I wonder if Napster will let us stop in Shreveport...they have casinos...I like casinos...probably not huh?

Twenty Years already...

2006-08-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

I just got word that my 20th High School reunion is going to be held October 6-7th. Hard to believe it's been that long.
I haven't decided if I'm going yet...

Little buddy - Please call, I swapped software on my phone and lost all numbers.

What rhymes with oofus?

2006-08-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going to go with doofus.

I was making a run to the store today and Napster says, "Don't forget your phone".
My response was "No need, it's not like I'll get a flat".
Ummm yeah...

I dropped off the trash before leaving and when I went to get back in the car...
There, in the side wall of my tire, was a mother lovin' nail.
Karma's a bitch ain't it.

My family's car people. So I figured I'd change the tire real quick and have it ready to be plugged tomorrow.
Not so fast my friends...

Whatever diphole designed this tire change kit should be shot. There's a huge separation between design and execution that needs to be explored.
Long story short, 1 hour and a busted knuckle, bump on my head and one broken lug nut post later, the tire's changed.

Napster had a smug look on her face as I walked in sweaty, greasy and pissed...did I mention pissed.

Good thing I didn't take my phone huh?

Home Sweet Home

2006-08-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

Great news on the Spurs and Napster relocation front - WE ARE MOVING BACK HOME!! WAHOO!! Well it's Spurs home but my adopted home and is way closer to all of our friends and family than TLTTF, TX. We are very excited and a little overwhelmed because it's happening in 30 days so now it's downsizing time in the house of Spurs and Napster so hopefully our move won't break the bank.

I've already alerted Morrigan and Sissy so they can be prepared for me to show up shortly after we settle in so they will be ready for some serious shopping weekends! Oh, yeah, I also have to find employment....damn....

Oh, and by the way - this is the view from our deck in our new place.....Ahhhhhhh

On the road

2006-08-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

If there were a word to describe my trip to Kansas City this week it would have to be, Holyshitisiteverfreakinghotinthismotherfucker!!!!

I’m just saying…

Sissy and I went to the Royals game last night(that's right, the Royals) and I couldn’t catch that wonderful, baseball beer buzz because we were sweating like two convicts on a chain-gang.

Can’t wait to get back to Lubbock where it’s nice and cool……awww….shit

D-Day or B-Day?

2006-07-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

Even though I don't consider birthdays fun any more except for the fact that I get presents, this one has gotten off to a great start. This morning Spurs made me my favorite breakfast sandwich of eggs, bacon and mayo on white bread, yummy! We then proceeded to take a nap before lunch and then made our way out to have a bite.

There is a new restaurant that opened here which is a poor man's version of P.F. Chang's and there has been a line out the door ever since it opened and today was no exception - I swear if you want to open a restaurant this is the place to do it - anything new they flock to it and everyone here eats out for every meal. So we decided on a soup and salad place and then it was off to pick up my birthday cake.

So Spurs ordered my favorite birthday cake for me earlier in the week - chocolate chip ice cream, white cake, and white icing. So we go into one of the ice cream places in town and Spurs asks for my cake - but they have no record of him ordering it and ask if he is sure this is the right place since there are two similar ice cream places in town with different names. Turns out it was the other one which I thought was very funny. I told Spurs that when we have kids it will be up to me to order and then remember where I ordered the birthday cake from.

The rest of the day will be spent snuggling with Lynkin on the couch while watching TV and then my afternoon workout and then it's drinks, drinks and more drinks and then hopefully a nice dinner at my favorite mexican restaurant in town - unless we have too many drinks and then we always end up at the McD's drive through.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful

2006-07-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

Morrigan and Sissy mailed me wonderful presents for my birthday which I promptly opened before my birthday. One of those presents was a new tank top for Lynkin. I couldn't wait to put it on her and take some pictures. Thanks you guys for the wonderful gifts! You are the best! And a BIG thank you to my wonderful husband Spurs who gave me a Spa Day yesterday which I enjoyed very much - I just need to convince him that I need a Spa Day once a week and I will be a happy girl - but I guess since I'm unemployed I shouldn't press my luck. Enjoy.....

Oh, and this one - nope she doesn't have a piece of bacon in her mouth - it's her tongue....

And I had to add this one which is Stella and Lynkin getting ready to have their daily Lesbian Cross Breed tongue kisses.....we have very weird animals.....

Happy Birthday Sissy!!

2006-07-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Today is Sissy of And What Next birthday! Happy Birthday! Sissy has been on a wild ride these last couple of months and is finally beginning her new job and living in her new town. We are so proud of her. We hope you have a great day today!! Everyone wish Sissy a Happy Birthday today.

WTF!!

2006-07-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's just me, but I don't give a flying shit about whether or not there have been any pictures of Suri Cruise.

Seriously, I just don't care.

Aren't there more pressing stories for the media to cover or have we all gone freakin' crazy.

Maybe I'm just a dill hole...just a thought...

Congrats to Mo and her Beau!

2006-07-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

So Spurs and I are at a bar last night watching a friend of ours band and I notice I have a call from Mo and she had left a message. So I go ahead and listen to it and this is what I hear, "Hey what are you guys doing? Oh, and by the way, I'm engaged." WHA? Did I just hear that correctly? I had to hand the phone to Spurs and replay the message just so I was clear that I heard the word engaged. Unfortunately in my excitement I erased the message before he could here it. So I promptly call Mo back without thinking about what time it was and the we are an hour ahead of her and get her voicemail where I promptly reply "What! I just got a voicemail from you while in a bar and find out that you are engaged!" "CALL ME"

It was pretty funny, very "Mo" for those of you that know her, just a casual voicemail "oh and by the way I'm engaged". So I had to laugh.

Anyway, Mo has been my best friend for a while now and has gotten me through a lot of bad times and has celebrated with me on my happy times and I want nothing but the best for her. They are a great couple and it takes a lot for both me and Spurs to approve of anyone that Mo deems boyfriend material and obviously he has passed the most rigourous of all tests - The Fam -

Congratulations you two! We are so happy for the both of you! And no, it would not be appropriate to have the wedding in the fall mainly because everyone would be at the bar watching college football!

We Love Ya Mo!

New Drinking Game

2006-07-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

I thought I would post this since it's clear that if we don't post anything then we are fair game to be pranked!

Since I'm currently unemployed and have a lack of things to do since we live in the most boring place on earth and I have no money to shop with I have been recording shows on the DVR - mostly older episodes of Gilmore Girls since I missed most of their early stuff. So evertime Spurs (who now mainly works from home) passes through the living room I am either watching Gilmore Girls or The Dog Whisperer.

Sometimes Spurs will sit down and watch an episode or mostly the end of one that I'm finishing up and he discovered we could make a good drinking game out of it. So the rules for this new game are as follows:

Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

1. Everytime anyone says "Lorelai" you have to take a drink or do a shot.
2. Everytime anyone says "Rory" you have to take a drink or do a shot.

Pretty simple right? I thought so too and didn't think it was that big of a deal until we tried it last night. I had no idea how many times these names were said during the hour long episode. Needless to say, just after taking drinks after these names were said, we were pretty buzzed by the end of the episode.

Not that we are saying that getting drunk while watching Gilmore Girls is the responsible thing to do, but at this point we are grasping at straws to have fun in this town!

Double Dog Dare Ya!!

2006-07-06T20:57:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I received a dare from an undisclosed source to post this picture...

...and I rarely pass up a dare!

I just didn't say whose blog! :-)

And since this one has been abandoned for the past couple of weeks, I thought it was fitting....

NAPSTER & SPURS SAY: "Nice one Sissy, just because we haven't blogged in a while doesn't mean we don't still visit our site - now what should your punishment be - maybe take away your keys for a while?....hmm, does anyone else have any suggestions on what Sissy's punishment should be for this little prank? (Or should I say, these little franks)..."

Happy 1st Anniversary!!

2006-06-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Today Spurs and I are celebrating our 1st Anniversary! I am so lucky to have found Spurs, he is the greatest person I have ever known and my best friend. Happy Anniversary Baby!!

New Kind of Porn

2006-06-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

I have been on a diet for a month now - the type where they send you the food so all you do is heat it up - it's not bad, but it's not the best either. You can supplement the dinners and lunches with fresh veggies and salads and even wheat toast or wheat rolls so that's pretty good. I have cheated a few times but for the most part have been sticking to it. It's all about portion control and I have lost 9 pounds and haven't even started working out yet so that's not too bad.

So now I have found my new porn - the Food Channel! For some reason I really like to watch them cook all the food that I want to eat but can't. I guess that is really weird but I can't get enough of it.

Food Channel - the new porn for dieters!

We Are Still Alive! And an Answer to a Meme from Bou!

2006-06-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, we are still alive, Lynkin hasn't eaten us or driven us out of our house YET! She's a handful though...

I have since lost my sweet contract gig making a bajillion dollars so Napster is very depressed... Living in TLTTF, TX isn't making things any better - no jobs, no opportunity, no nothin...

But the good news is that Spurs, a.k.a. the Survivor, that knows it's all business, has survived another round of cuts. He has been given an extension until the end of the year with the ability to live wherever we want!!! Wahoo! Whatever... we have not idea where we want to go but anywhere is better than the LTTF, TX. So we are in hot debate over where we are moving next. Me jobless, him living the dream and outliving anyone who has ever worked for a company that has been bought out about a bajillion times. I told him today that one day he would be CEO of this company...

Anyway,Grandmother Bou, sister of my best friend Morrigan has tagged me with a meme... Nice.. I guess I don't have much else to do except contimplate my future, where we will live next, and self control over not drowning the smallest dog on earth because she can never be house trained (just kidding)... Look at this, do you think that this little thing will ever listen to anyone? She eats her own limbs!!!!

So as far as the meme goes...

5 Things in my Refrigerator

1. Sugar Free Red Bull
2. Diet Coke
3. Orange Juice
4. Lots of Water Bottles
5. Lots of Salad stuff (because I'm on a freakin diet from hell)

5 Things in My Closet

1. My 500 pairs of jeans in various sizes
2. My BCBG top that I love and wear everytime me and Spurs go out
3. My 100 pairs of shoes which are mostly black and I end up wearing flip flops
4. Various computer boxes because I don't have anywhere else to put them
5. Spurs 1,000,000 selection of Polo shirts

5 Things in my Purse

1. First of all it's a Coach purse so need I say more
2. My Coach wristlet that I scammed off of Sissy because it matched my purse
3. Tons of glosses and lipsticks because I am a Sephora FREAK!!
4. Lots of sugarless gum because I am a GUM FREAK!!
5. My cell phone because I don't leave home without it because my car is a POS!

5 Things in my Car

1. A South Carolina cooler that holds red bull and water for when Sissy visits!
2. A dolphin rearview mirror dangler because it reminds me of the beach
3. My parking permit from our apartment on Folly Beach, SC because it reminds me of home!
4. My SC and FB (Folly Beach) stickers on my back window because I so want to be back in SC!!!
5. My various CD's that have been burned from Itunes...

So there we have it folks, we are still debating on where we are moving next. If it was up to Morrigan it would be the ATL, but we are thinking more about SC. We will let you know where we go next.... Stay tuned!!!

Napster On The Road

2006-05-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

I'm on the road again.. This week I'm in the most beautiful part of Nevada. I really like it here. I even called Spurs who has had the calling to move to this state and said - if we move here I would like to live in this part. Think 'Lake Tahoe'.

So the funniest part of my trip has been my rental car. I always have to get a rental car with a navigation system because I really am blind but have not gotten to the eye doctor to get glasses so I don't like to read directions while I'm driving and I suffer from CRS (Can't Remember Shit) so even if I read the directions ahead of time I can't remember what they said. So I go to the rental counter and my profile always requests the navigation system but it's a hit or miss situation depending on what types of cars they have left. So by the time I got into town and went to the rental counter the only cars they had left with the navigation system was the high priced vehicles. It only cost 10.00 extra so I said OK - go for it. Turns out it is a 2006 Cadillac. So I go out to the car - very nice by the way - and could not find a slot to put the key into. I asked two people walking by in the garage if they knew where they key goes and no one knew. So I trekked through the parking garage to the rental umbrella folks and said "I don't know how to start this car". Yes, they all laughed. The guy walked back to the car with me and explained that I had to have the keys in the car with me but the car started with a push button. Hmm, how in the hell am I supposed to know that, they should have explained at the counter. I drive a 2000 POS car with no bells and whistles. So I got the ignition part down but now was scared to death to drive this very expensive car. Needless to say, I got the hang of it and explained to Spurs how much I loved driving this car. Spurs is Cadillac fan as well and explained..maybe someday hunny!

Anyway, this is a short trip for me thankfully and I will be home tomorrow afternoon. Spurs is none to pleased about being left alone with the new puppy again, but has explained that he is teaching who the Alpha Male is at this point. I wish we had a hidden camera in the house....

So we will see what the future brings but if Spurs wants to live in a 'gambling leagle' town this one would be tops on my list - it's absolutely great here - mountains with snow, a beautiful lake a few minutes away....very nice!

How Can You Say No To This?

2006-05-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

She has both Spurs and Napster under her little puppy spell....

I Don't Want To Think, I Just Want To Pee!

2006-05-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

What is up with the whole cutsie names on the bathrooms in restaurants and bars? What happened to good old fashioned Men and Women signs? Over the weekend we went to a Seafood restaurant in TLTTF, TX and the bathroom signs read - Inboards and Outboards...WTF? I'm not a boat person, how in the hell am I supposed to know what that means!!!

I don't want to think when I have to go pee at a bar or restaurant, I don't want to have that sinking feeling that I am going to walk in on some old guy holding his wing-wang and say, 'Oh, sorry, thought this was the women's bathroom!

For the love of Pete - I just want to pee!!!

The gamecocks start early!

2006-05-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, Lynkin now has a gamecock t-shirt!

Mo - hurry up and send me an FSU t-shirt so we can set this little girl straight!!!

Stynkin Lynkin

2006-05-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well it's day seven and she is still alive and kickin! She went to the vet on Friday and it turns out she has an intestinal parasite living in her little belly - so now she gets liquid medicine for the next 10 days. Oh, and did I mention the lovely green slimy poop that's leaking out of her? Nice... It's great to have to clean that up 20 times a day. I think Spurs may puke before this is over.

Lynkin seems to be fitting in pretty well into our family - she loves chasing Stella the cat, peeing while she eats, playing with her new toys, and eating Daddy's toes.....

I have bought more stuff for this little one since I got back home from the land of the burning sun, and I think she seems to be enjoying her princess status in the household....

All in all she is not a bad 2 pound little girl - she sleeps as soon as you pick her up and put her on your chest or lap and otherwise she is good about playing with her toys and following around the big feet people in the house. We will keep you updated with her progress. Lets hope the green slimy poop ends soon...

Daddy Day Care

2006-05-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions on naming our new little addition. Spurs has made a decision - he wants to name her Lynkin - why you ask? Because her poop looks like little Lincoln Log pieces... So there you have it - Lynkin. I think it's a very original name for our new little girl. I got to name Stella the cat so it's only fair that Spurs get's to name the latest member of the household.

For those of you that are wondering what she is - she is a black and tan Chihuahua and she is 8 weeks old - let's hope she makes it to 6 months - living with me Spurs and Stella ain't easy. If any of you that read us out there have this breed please send us advice - we have never had a toy breed before - I'm afraid I'm either going to break her or step on her - but it's oh so cute to see Spurs walking her with her little bright pink collar on.

So, I had to go out of town today for business - out to the state of the burning sun - man, how does anyone live here - it's so freakin hot - I even had to call Sissy and say - ARE YOU CRAZY! But, on the other hand I am getting much props for my last name considering the b-ball playoffs - I've never gotten so many questions regarding my last name as I have since I came here today - those of you that know us will figure it out. Spurs thinks I should cash in on it and try to get a free dinner - let's see how it goes..

So that means, Spurs is home alone with the little one until Friday - let's hope he is up for the challenge - I'll probably come back home to Lynkin eating Cheetos on the couch while watching NASCAR and drinking Vodka.

From tonight's report all is well - Lynkin has taken to eating toes and thoes sharp puppy teeth are not so much fun on the toes. Spurs may even bring the little one to the office with him since it's kind of vacant there now. A friend of ours is sending a puppy pouch that I can wear and Lynkin can snuggle on me all day and I am free to walk around and do what I need to do - how funny will that be - I will take pictures of that and post..

We will keep you updated on Lynkin's progress....

How much is that doggie in the window???

2006-05-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

Mother's day 2006
Woo-hoo...

For all of you mother's out there, I do wish you a happy day, you deserve it.

Me and my damn narrow urethra...

First, let me say that I am a fan of all animals. I just am. Love em'.

Secondly, let me say that I love dogs in all shapes and sizes. I have had a rottie, mastiff and malamute on my record - Napster has had Akitas. And they all lived happy and fruitful lives.

So don't give me any shit or I'll kick your ass.

Napster has been hearing the bells so what's a guy to do???

That said, we've given birth and we would like some input on naming this little booger.

Drum Roll Please................

And just for the record, Stella is taking this all in stride it seems...

Sorry Little Buddy...

I was going to call her, Little Mother Fucker That I'm Going To Have To Take Outside In The Mother Fucking Rain but LMFTIGTHTTOITMFR doesn't really have a ring to it.

Please help!!

Has Anyone Seen This Man?

2006-05-05T17:44:00.000-07:00

There is a search out for this guy. What we know about him is this:

1. He used to blog a lot, but lately not so much
2. He is a HUGE Carolina fan
3. He is a HUGE Steelers fan
4. He is a HUGE Cardinals fan
5. Okay, he's just a huge sports fan, period.
6. He has a particular affection towards Red Bull and Vodka
7. He has a sharp tongue and a big heart
8. Boiled peanuts have been sold out since his move to TLTTF
9. He can make you laugh no matter what type of mood you are in
10. He can fry anything and make it taste good
11. He can cook anything and make it taste good
12. He can grill anything and make it taste good
13. He can talk to anyone in a bar and make a friend for life
14. He is tough to reign in when he is ready to fight
15. He has a magical way of working from home and yet no one knows he naps all day
16. You are a lucky person if you have ever met him and he decides he likes you

We've gotten a brief sketch of him from a random bar...... Please let us know if you have seen him.

All quiet on the Eastern Front

2006-05-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

Of the roughly 250 odd employees that worked in my building a month ago, about 10 of us are left. Just sitting around makes for a very long day let me tell you…
I think I’ll get out of here and go watch the race…

I was sitting at my desk reading a book and noticed on the front cover “Specifically designed for comfortable reading”. What’s this all about??
I can’t figure out how this book has been specifically designed for comfortable reading…or how can any book for that matter…

This bites, I’m outta here…

I should not be left unattended

2006-04-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve just gotten back from another trip to Oz. They are trying to assimilate me but I’m just too damn hard headed. I should know more about my situation in the coming months. Truth be told, I don’t really care one way or the other…as long as Napster and I can get the hell out of TLTTF.

Speaking of Napster, we’re going to take an official 7-10 day vacation this year. In the past, due to circumstances beyond our control we would take multiple long weekend trips. Not this year buddy boy…
Here’s my suggestion…

Napster isn’t sold on it, go figure….
Do any of you have any vacation suggestions???

Who decided that these sunglasses were back in style??
I hated them back when my mom wore them and I hate them now…
Who’s in charge of this shit!?!?!

I’ve developed a new strategy for picking out a seat on “You are now Free to Move about the Country” Airlines.

-Right before entering the plane, discreetly wet face with water
-Pick a middle seat.(Wet face again if possible)
-Fart (multiple times if possible)
-Wait for someone to try and sit next to you, look up with a sweat glistened face and say, “I hope I don’t shit my pants before we get to (insert town)”.
-They’ll move on, trust me….

Warn Me First Please!

2006-04-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have heard from basically everyone I know that I should rent the DVD for the movie Crash. I can't even tell you how many people that have told me to watch this movie....hmm, let me see, umm, Sissy, my Sister, my hairdresser, etc. etc. I think I am the last person on Earth to watch this movie except for Spurs.

BUT, no one told me how much of an emotional roller coaster this movie was going to be. I rented it earlier in the week, more specifically when Sissy was in town over Easter weekend but I saved it to watch with Spurs since Sissy had already seen it. Sissy and I saved our viewing time for a girlie movie, 'In Her Shoes'.

So, Spurs decides he does not want to watch this movie. Not sure why, he just doesn't want to watch it. Spurs is very particular about movies he will watch on DVD.

So, Spurs goes out of town this week and I decide to watch it on my own. I watch a little last night and then conclude it tonight. I'm a two day kinda DVD watcher - you know, can't sit still for any long period of time.

So I finish watching this movie tonight. The ONLY farkin time it decides to rain and thunder in the land that time forgot Texas. It's a gloomy night, it's been a really gloomy day - especially knowing Spurs is out of town and I had absolutely no sleep last night. I even ordered 'Skeleton Key' on pay per view last night because I could not sleep without Spurs. (Stupid movie by the way, just my opinion).

So, I watch the rest of 'Crash' tonight. I am crying like a little girl, wondering where are all the nice people in the world and why does there have to be so much hate...... then I call Sissy and yell at her because she didn't warn me about the content and conclusion of this flick! Just kidding, I didn't yell because I felt so compassionate about my fellow man at that point in time.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! PLEASE TELL ME FIRST THAT A MOVIE IS GOING TO RIP MY GUTS OUT LIKE THAT BEFORE YOU RECOMMEND IT TO ME!!!!

That's all I'm sayin......

Easter Memories

2006-04-17T14:46:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a nice Easter! We were lucky enough to have Sissy drive to come visit us (even though she was totally crazy for doing it). We had a great time this weekend - spa day, girlie movie day, game night, etc. etc., oh yeah and lots of drinky time :) Thanks for making the trek to come stay with us Sissy! We enjoyed it.

And one last memory of Easter.....